Texts by Yaya Mavundla
Photos by Smanga Shange

I usually sit front row at Fashion Week, mingle with the crème de la crème of the entertainment industry at A-list events and I found myself at Miss Gay Jozi held at the Wits Theatre, Johannesburg on the 17^th of May 2014 seated at a very noisy block which was like 7 rows away from where I’d usually sit. Not to mention I had to buy a ticket to come watch drag queens lip sync for their life, mind you I’m used to getting an exclusive invite to watch Who’s Who sing live. Not that I’m complaining, just putting it out there.

Miss Gay Jozi 2014 logo

2014 May 17 Miss Tee Menu about to take her 1st walk as the Queen of Miss Gay Jozi 2014

Best pageant in Jozi

It’s been a while since I attended such a great pageant hosted by the LGBTI community. At Miss Gay Jozi I felt like I was watching Miss World Pageant. From the outfits the one MC wore Zsa-Zsa the girls and the performances. For the first time I was convinced that they did research to understand what we people want. The introduction of the Club Simply Blue reigning queens was the BEST! The traditional wear introduction the girls killed it! Out of 12 girls only 1 girl didn’t get it right, Thibi and if RuPaul was present she would have said “Sashe Away” and that will mean end of her journey in the competition. The swim suit, such perfection! For a second I imagined Miss Universe swim suit competition that’s how good it was. Like the usual, there will always be bad girls and this time around it was contestant number 2 and 4 who wore lingerie. Such disappointment! Listening is a skill girls, and you clearly don’t have it.

The cocktail wear all the girls were such stunners! Miss Tee and Somizy wore it best! I could see myself in Somizi’s white dress at this year’s Style Awards.

The best dress, as prize for the overall winner

And then there was evening wear, Ball Gowns… Well clearly contestant number 1, Sjarmante Diamante didn’t get the memo or she probably didn’t want to listen as she got it wrong! She was is in a wedding gown, more like she is about to walk down the aisle. My favourite was Somizy, Miss Tee and definitely Davy who looked like she was at the Miss Universe pageant. She looked amazing in a blue dress with open sleeves. She reminded me of Lwandle Ngwenya, Miss SA 12 finalist.

Too many performances

There was a point where I wished they could ask the audience if we still want more performances. Besides the fact that they were all AMAZING but truth is less is more. I felt like I was in a concert rather than a pageant. The opening performance by Divas of Drag was “OK”. Ella has grown, she’s more of a performer now than an entertainer. She sings! Perfect for the theatre.

Labelz D’Glamour, actually no! LABELZ D’GLAMOUR. Nhlanhla Ncinza of Mafikizolo would be so shy if she were to see this girl’s performance. She nailed it! If she was in attendance she would probably hide somewhere, when a drag queen gets a standing ovation for performing your song better, joh!
Tina Turner’s performance was Simply The Best just like the tittle of the song she performed! I won’t be surprised if some people were convinced it was her performing.

There were too many performances in a way that if I were to bore you with the details it will be two pages.
Drama at thee most dignified theatre

Wits Theatre is such a dignified space, more like you are on Broadway, there is no way you would imagine that people can let loose just like that. On arrival with Maureen Majola and Smanga Shange, just after paying for our tickets I asked one of the organizers if it was possible to interview the girls. “Not in this competition my dear, how can you arrive at 8pm and want to interview the girls, the media people did that at 6pm” that’s the response I received from one of the organizers. Despite me humbling myself saying “its owk I understand” he still made it a point to go on and on forever. I was so B.O.R.E.D I needed a drink to loosen up again.

Jerome Camp – one of Miss Gay Jozi 2014
organisers

Just like at any other pageant in the world, when close friends and family are proud of their girl they would go up on stage and hug the winner, take pictures with her, like Donald Trump at Miss Universe pageant would say. I will keep the memories and he does that through pictures. At Miss Gay Jozi it was a different story, when Lesiba Mothibe, Miss Tee’s mother and I were on stage to congratulate Miss Tee and take pictures, pageant organizer Dino Abrahams came on stage and screamed like someone who is watching scary movie One Missed Call. I couldn’t believe it! “Get out of my stage, you don’t belong here” He said.

While I was still digesting that, Dimpho all the way from Vaal with her friend Leroy were in such bad behaviour, in a way that Leroy was so drunk that she could not contain herself and found herself a comfortable corner inside the theatre to get some sleep, I don’t know if she passed out or she decided to take a break from the 5 litre boxed wine they were busy with and puffing smokes like they in a tavern, so embarrassing!

Labels the “it” girl

Labelz D’Glamour belongs in Rio! She was the BEST, basically the highlight for the evening. Her performances, I mean, I’ve seen the best girls on stage perform in Cape Town, CREW amongst other venues and at Miss Gay Western Cape but I can say they have nothing on her. More like how Beyonce did it at her “I AM” World Tour. Her Waka Waka performance was the best, from her grand entrance, the outfit and the whole performance, even RuPaul would give her a standing ovation had she been there.

The Mafikizolo performance. It will take time for me to think of Nhlanhla Ncinza when I hear Khona by Mafikizolo. She owned it.

Fake everything

Fake eyelashes are allowed, most contestants and performers wore them. Padding to add curves, I don’t get it but fine. Fake flowers for the winner! A NO, NO! I don’t know what the idea behind it was and where did they get it. Maybe they want the winner to hand them over to the next year’s queen when her reign finishes? I have never!

Girls at their usual best, not able to answer judges questions

Gorgeous girls wearing gowns that would pay a BMW 1 series deposit combined together but NO brains. Majority of the contestants couldn’t answer the questions. Even the simple question as “If you were to be on a cover of a magazine, which one would you choose to be on and why?”
I mean if the Acting Editor of True Love who was previously Editor of Real Magazine before it was canned was present, she would have been so embarrassed that there are beauty queens who want to be cover girls with no stories to tell.

Second princess was just lucky to place on the Top 3 as she also couldn’t answer the question. She explained something about the bible for about 5 minute and only made one valid point which was also not really answering the question.

The right girl wins

Despite contestant number 4, Cheaza Jaars failing to answer the judges question she still took the Second Princess spot. I would say she deserved it since there was no one else would have been the contestant to take that position as most girls were the weakest links when coming to answering what was asked. The first princess position went to contestant who I didn’t expect to be on the top 3, Thibi Monale. She failed dismally to answer the judge’s question and yet she wishes to be True Love Magazine cover girl with no story to tell.
Miss Tee Menu, Shaka Zulu’s daughter as she introduced herself in her traditional outfit. It was clear that to me that she was the obvious winner with her well presentation of traditional, swim suit, cocktail, Ball Gown and nailed the final question. “For the first time a deserving girl wins” – Jason Samuel said after Miss Tee Menu from Daveyton was crowned Miss Gay Jozi 2014.

Best performance by Mr Carter who was almost naked on stage…

To interact with me, please follow me on Twitter and Instagram @YayaRSA

Previous by Yaya

2014 March 30:  Dressed in the Jackson 5 assemble, exotic dance moves and performing hit singles with no support from friends

and

2014 March 30:  Bright future for Mzamo

My name is Abongile Matyila.
Abongile is a Xhosa name which means to be grateful. My uncle gave me that name.
I’m a 22 year old Bachelor of Arts (BA) student studying at the University of Fort Hare, East London in the Eastern Cape.

Born in Mdantsane, the second biggest township in South Africa, I was raised with three younger siblings and brought up by both my parents. Due to socio-economic pressures to find a good qualification, I entered my first year of university as an Accounting student, but subsequently developed an interest in the fields of Sociology and Philosophy which are his current courses of study. My love for these subjects offered me a platform to explore much of my own identity in relation to the world around me.
Growing up as a person with an ambiguous sexuality fuelled my interest towards understanding the complexities of sexuality, gender expression and the act of sex itself. I was afforded the opportunity to present on the topic of sexuality in a philosophy colloquium at the University of Fort Hare. I assisted in coordinating a student LGBTI group at the university in 2011 and proceeded to join the Eastern Cape Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Intersex organisation, of which is currently appointed as the Provincial Organiser.

Apart from being politically active in the field of LGBTI rights in the Eastern Cape, I have always had a burning passion for the performing arts. I was considered a stellar jazz soloist in high school, and participated in various local theatre productions during my teen years.  Later on danced in a performing group called Creative Pulse which offered a platform for LGBTI artists.  It is where I found freedom to express myself as a performer whilst interacting with like-minded artists. As much as I loved performing, although my love for the arts has always defined the person I am.
I felt that need to ground and identify myself in my hometown where a change of perceptions towards LGBTI people – cultural and religious – was needed.

As an individual, my desire has always been to champion one’s sole expression, regardless of whom or where they are. Being a gender non-conforming black person meant I had to mediate between my gender expression, sexuality and cultural values, which might not have been aligned under ‘usual’ circumstances. Having to find a common ground between these components encouraged me to find myself, and thus live an assertive life full of expression and liberty.

I wish to see myself walking on the ramps of Paris Fashion week. I want to be in a big stage production or as a well-recognised activist, a proof that every individual is unique and has as much a right to a full life as any. Everyone should be treated with respect, as we are all human beings, and afforded the liberty to live their lives as they see fit; a life free from pressure to conform, inequality and prejudice.

Understanding and embracing one’s individuality is key to accepting who one is, which creates room to live your life to the fullest. The act of being yourself is indeed the best person you can ever be.

ABONGILE MATYILA Scenery Park, AMALINDA. East London. (2012)                                                          Photo by Zanele Muholi.

I found myself at 22

Seems like I’ve been walking aimlessly
Dodging bullets of hate and vile perceptions
What are you, where do you come from?
Am I not supposed to be here?

The life I had come to know
Did not recognise who I was
Not my love, nor my face
Nor my need to breathe the same air
The hard cold of its back offering thick clouds of judgment
I don’t know who I am anymore.

I lost the warmth of the sun in my sleep
The feel of the morning dew on my feet
I forgot the smell of the waking world at dawn
The mornings filled with joy,
days filled with happiness

But this is not my home

There is no place for me here.

I catch a glimpse of a photograph
A spot of distant hope in my eyes
A hope of dancing at the Theatre
And walking the streets of Paris close to midnight
The rain misty
and soft
against my smile, warmed by a content heart
This air is filled with crisp dreams
And a life full of worth for the living!

But where is this life?
If I this one is not mine to live,
In my own way?
How is it that you impose your thoughts about my body,
As if repainting an old wall worthless to the space it occupies?

Man, what has my love for another spoken to you
That encourages you to crush my dreams
and devalue my self worth?

Tell me
I need to breath; a space to be visible
To be loved

I need a place I can call home.

The winner of the 2014 Miss Gay Jozi is the 19 year old Miss Tee Menu from Daveyton.

Photos by Smanga Shange

Related article

2014 May 18 :  Glitter, drama & perfection at Miss Gay Jozi 2014

Title:  Intombi I

… in collaboration with Valerie Thomas, Paris (2014)

(Re)inventing Aesthetic and (Re)imagining Meaning:
(Re)creating Black Beauty

By Bridget Ngcobo

Zanele Muholi, a black South African visual activist standing in Paris, France stands in front of her camera and demands that we look into her face and see; take in her body and think. The confrontational nature of this photograph however exists, like much of Muholi’s work within a complex space of vulnerability and strength. Much of Muholi’s work in Faces and Phases engages the deadlock between eyes. The space between the women photographed and the viewer is always heavy with meaning, meaning produced by artist, subject and consumer. Reflective of her activism, Muholi has a way with engaging the humanity of all parties. This image is no different.
Muholi’s blackened body stands in a frame against a grey wall in the country where Sarah Baartman died. The exaggerated blackness of her body brings into sharp focus the white. The blackness of the skin between her around eyes, lips, nostrils and hairline makes me want to tear off and or wipe away the white on her face, I want to claw my way inside and see the face of Zanele Muholi in all of it’s blackened glory. Instead, Muholi against a wall in a country where Sarah Baartman, once stood, as a ‘freakshow’, a white scientists’ property, even in death; a body dismembered and on display in a museum for 150 years. Muholi stands in a questioning pose, her black body exposed, her right arm behind her head and left resting on her hip, she is standing as though her body itself were a question mark. Daring the viewer to meet the vulnerability and strength in the darkness of her gaze pupils against the piercing white of her eyes.
What does it mean to hold yourself up and look ahead as a Black South African woman?
What does it mean to while simultaneously know and questioning your beauty?
What is black beauty when it defined from behind a mask of whiteness?

The image of Muholi in France may not immediately conjure the story of Sarah Baartman, but in its overt engagement with the Black female body specifically in France it is impossible not to return to the question of history.
What does it mean to hold black femininity and beauty in your body?
What does it mean to engage that?
A French journalist viewing, the “Hottentot Venus,” Sarah remarked, “not appealing Venus especially after seeing a Medici Venus.” The history of this iconic racial and sexual figure is interwoven with the present conceptions of beauty and the Black female both at an individual and collective level.
How does a Black woman (re)imagine definitions of beauty on black bodies behind or regardless of the white mask?
How does a black woman create meanings of beauty at all?
In this photograph Muholi boldly confronts the delicate balance of vulnerability and strength of black female bodies collectively and individually.

It is said about Sarah, that even as they investigated her body after finding her, “she hung tenaciously clung to her modesty and only very reluctantly removed the traditional Khoi-Khoi apron she wore when she was publically exhibited.[1]”
It is saddening to me that there is so little trace of Sarah the woman, I wish I knew what she thought as she took in this France and it’s people, how she thought of home, if she longed for love, did she remember that someone found her beautiful?
Did she find herself beautiful?
When they bought her bones home in 2002, what could they say not about Sarah the icon, but Sarah the woman? Through this photograph Muholi reaches into a space of complexity of confrontation around what it means to define and shape your beauty as a black woman. Through her use of color pose and expression she soundly situates herself and her viewers in a place that requires deep self-reflection on the part of any viewer, but particularly on the part of black female viewers.
Perhaps it is dangerous to single out a particular group not on Muholi’s behalf, but on my own. At the risk of being exclusionary, and still in the face of that danger I maintain, this photograph is an important call to black women. In the words of Steve Biko, ”you are either alive and proud or you are dead, and when you are dead, you can’t care anyway.”[2]
This image like much of Muholi’s body of work communicates the vulnerability of black female bodies not as weakness, but rather as part of the story of strength. It is undeniable that Biko’s politics regarding women cannot holistically be regarded as robust, but there is something to be said on the power of Black Consciousness, about (re)covering the lost and distorted pride, (re)creating art and activism, (re)inventing and (re)imagining meaning. I am a black woman living in post-apartheid South Africa hungrily taking in the lives and experiences of black women who exude the beauty I wish to claim as my own. I believe this Muholi’s photograph is an important call to young black South African women like myself to pay attention to the concept interiority; question the make up of our complexities. I urge young Black South African women to like Muholi’s expression question how what makes their beauty both vulnerable and strong?
What they choose to hold on to?
What they choose to let go of?
What angles they choose to expose?

Muholi’s body of work and has been able to communicate vulnerability not as weakness, but rather as part of what makes you strong. I believe the tangible way that Muholi communicates the fragility and tenacity of black womanhood both illustrates the abuses that have been meted out on the black female body while also giving voice to the journey of self-definition. To answer the question of what we want in a rich comprehensive way we should take head to the message to first acknowledge who we are, with all our contradictions and complexities. Looking internally reaching into that place that acknowledges that we do not live in a vacuum, how we see ourselves as black women does not exist untouched by history. It is through our connections with people, who question and who are living and consciously redefining myself that we learn a skill cannot be unlearned. We learn that it is possible to (re)define and (re)create meaning, even under the weight of history, perception and foisted meanings of both blackness and femininity alike.

[1]Maseko, Zola. “The Life and Times of Sarah Baartman, “The Hottentot Venus”” African Studies Review 44.1 (2001): p130.

[2]Biko, Steve, and Aelred Stubbs. I Write What I like. New York: Harper & Row, 1979. Print.
____________________________________

Special Thanks for Cite Des Arts in Paris and French Institute.

Merci beaucoup!

by Sfiso ‘Candice’ Nkosi

It is Thurs. 26th June 2014, my friend, Precious Maqojana and I left for Durban Pride from Johannesburg Park Station at 22:00. We stopped in Montrose for some refreshments and a bathroom break. I was starting to get anxious because the only thing on my mind was “which toilet will I use?”
I was afraid of the crowd and people who don’t understand queer society; Its hard to be queer because you do not really get to express nor live your life freely like a bird. I must be in makeup, dresses and/or stilettos, to use female public toilets. When I’m just my natural self with no makeup and weaves, I raise eyebrows..

I did not take advantage of my bathroom break and eventually we safely arrived in Durban and checked in at Hilton Lodge. We immediately took a nap as we were so tired from the long trip.

After resting, we updated our pages and Facebooked our friends and fans that were in Durban. It was like we were having a show! People came out in numbers to meet us at our hotel. It was awesome meeting new people.. One of our close friends and sister Le Sishi, showed up and she was also staying at the same place. It was a priceless moment to see each other again.

Beauties in Durban. Stephanie, Candice… Le Sishi in a gold dress and Precious

I went out for clubbing the night before Pride, just to get the feel of the place and socialize. I went to Club 101 of which was close by to our lodging place. It’s a club of mixed genders and sexualities, very welcoming and queer friendly. I met few friends and quickly left to sleep because I needed some rest to revive my energy for Pride.

Precious and I took a bath and had breakfast. Pride started at 10:00 but we didn’t arrive on time. We Queens dear, makeup, dress codes have to be on point. After everything we took a cab to Durban Pride. Just when we arrived we caused a scene and everyone wanted a picture with us. But we were surprised to see such a small number people at Pride. I don’t know if it was organised by different people from last year because in 2013 was epic and very full.

We took lots of pictures, the music was good and we danced our butts off. We met new queer people from trans to lesbians and gays. Around 20:00 people started to show up in numbers and we got confused on why at this time?
For so many reasons – Asazi!
We left to prepare for the after party and dress warmly since it was too cold and the sea breeze was so not friendly.

For the night, we first went to Club Adixions, a queer club owned by a black lesbian woman. It was packed and very hot, there were fans (air conditioners) but they were not working.
I wondered why because people could pass out due to the unbearable heat. The DJ was so bad and kept on repeating the same songs over and over again. We decided to leave the club and go to Club 101 lapho zikhipha khona (where it was much more fun). We felt that we having fun as Durbanites are so friendly, I must say.

I used to hear people saying that some Durbanites are homophobic but we didn’t experience that as all we were getting were compliments of how beautiful we were. Others were asking for numbers and we then partied hard !!!
I met a young transman who is a soccer player who stays in Durban. His name Njabulo Nothando Xulu and he works for Ukhozi FM.

Njabulo and his friends treated us like Queens and that was too exciting. They made sure we were comfortable and safe.I started having the bathroom anxiety again. Maybe queer toilets should now be implemented. I went to a female’s toilet and when I got there some black woman jumped from the base and said “no!!!
This is a females toilets eyamadoda ingale!!!”
I didn’t want drama so I left the club and went to the lodge to use the toilet. I don’t know why I have to encounter issues about the toilets.

L-R: Stephanie, Precious and Candice at Durban South beach

On the following day we left for the beach. I could not be in Durban and not go to the beach as that would be a crime. Firstly we went to Shaka Marine, had lunch and took pictures around and finished our day at the beach. It was awesome I tell you.

The welcomes were heart warming but the goodbyes were emotional especially for me. Thinking that I was going back to Johannesburg, the city of depression and frustration made me cry. I seriously didn’t want to go back home but then I had no choice but to leave with hope that I will come back and see those special people I met who made me feel human and special again. Being in Durban was an inexplicable experience; the love, the comfort, the freedom, the positive energy, the laughter, smiles and joy, which I cherish most in my life.

All thanks to my photographer, mentor and person whom I say I call my family Zanele Muholi for giving us the opportunity to revive our spirit of hope, not forgetting his brother Sbonelo Muholi for being so kind and supportive to our trip. I am honorably blessed and thankful to God.

Candice centered by Le and Mini at Durban South Beach in Dec. 2013

Related link

2014 July 10: My remarkable Durban Pride experience

Featuring the  portrait of Siphiwe Mbatha, August House, Johannesburg, 2012
© Zanele Muholi

Previous lectures

2014 June 17:  Muholi’s Ryerson University (RIC) talk

and

2014 April 29:  Muholi to speak at UC San Diego

and

2014 March 21:   Photo of the day from Human Rights and LGBTI in Sub Saharan Africa class

and

2014 March 18:  Sharing South African Queer knowledge with students in America

and

2014 March 5:  More than an activist

and

2014 Feb. 4:  Black Queer Born Frees in South Africa

and

2013 Nov. 4:   From Market Photo Workshop to Bremen University

Five months later…

by Yaya Mavundla

How often does a black transwoman from the rural areas get to meet Victoria Beckham in person; have breakfast in the same restaurant with Carlos Santana, fly around Cape Town in a helicopter? Honestly chances are zero, or so you might think. It came true for me.

Every time I thought of Cape Town I just thought of how expensive everything is said to be, definitely not a city I ever thought I would enjoy spending the whole week at.

On 26 February 2014, Zanele Muholi, Valerie Thomas and I, travelled from Johannesburg to Cape Town for Design Indaba where Zanele Muholi was one of the speakers for State of the Art.
When we arrived at the airport at about 13:10 the driver from @designindaba was already waiting with a sign written ‘Zanele Muholi’ as instructed by Cherize Ross, the project manager of the event.

Panelists:  L- R: Athi Patra Ruga, Zanele Muholi, Nandi Mntambo &  (Moderator) Hans Ulrich.

In my mind I thought we were getting into a shuttle but to my surprise, it was the new Mini Cooper. I was beyond words! Almost every girl would love to be driven around in the new Mini around the Green City of Cape Town.

I knew we were going to an upmarket hotel, Mount Nelson, but I didn’t realise its historical significance. The luxury was on another level and, the people you meet there are people of a certain standing in society.

While at the reception waiting for our room allocation, the Victoria Beckham came in like boom!
I mean it’s a different experience having to be in the VIP area at an Elton John concert and be in the same reception area with such a global icon. Goose bumps are what you get when such happens.

Our room was still being prepared for us to move in and after four hours of waiting for our room allocation, we moved in. This was definitely something that we were not anticipating and perhaps left a bitter taste in our mouths. All I can say is incompetence!

Apart from that, and I say that lightly, everything else was superb. The linen was definitely the most comfortable linen I’ve ever slept in. It was so luxurious that I couldn’t wait to take a nap to feel the softness rubbing against my skin. My skin was actually written happiness all over when I woke up.

After we had settled in and had time to freshen up, we got ready for dinner and Muholi suggested we go to V&A Waterfront. We opted to take a walk which was about 35min although it did not feel anything like it at all. I certainly enjoyed the crisp air and the exercise. Valery wanted to eat Oysters, which I later tried and decided against.

We finally found a restaurant which served sea food. Unfortunately, or fortunately – depending on who you are – we had to dine outside as it was full inside. It was cold, as the restaurant we chose was right next to the harbour. After we ordered our drinks and food, they were able to create a very small table for three, right next to the door inside and they went ahead and fussed over us.

After a great dinner we had, we decided to go back to the hotel and rest as the week ahead was going to be hectic. Everything seemed as if we were going have a great experience and that’s what exactly happened.

Photos by Lindeka Qampi & Zanele Muholi

To be continued…

To interact with me please follow me on twitter and Instagram
@YayaRSA

or

@MuholiZanele.

You can also like our Facebook page Inkanyiso.

If you are interested in applying for this opportunity kindly email for application forms:
hoosain.khan@wits.ac.za

or call

+27 11 717 4239 

Where:  Nquthu, KwaZulu Natal.
When:  12th July 2014

Umemulo unjengomshado, usuke uwumakoti ushadiswa nabakini, umhlwehlwe usuke umele i-veil. Ube futhi uyafana ne – 21st yesizulu, ngoba uma umuntu wesifazane emuliswa usuke unikwa ukhiye ukuthi usengakhululeka agane.

Igama lami ngingu-Comfort BZ Gwala, ngiphila impilo yobu Lesbian engizalwe nayo, abazali bami bangigcinele usiko lokungukhulisa ngokwesizulu (umemulo) obungomhlaka 12 July 2014, endaweni yase-Nquthu.
Ngacela Inkanyiso ukuba izongithathela izithombe zomcimbi wami obe yigugu elikhulu kimi. Ngosizo lweNkanyiso nabangaphumelanga ukuba khona, iNkanyiso izobathatha ibabeke ngezithombe ngakho konke okwakwenzeka, nokwaba okokuqala emlandweni ukumula kwe Lesbian.

Ukwenzelwa kwami umemulo kungijabulisile, noma bengisaba ukugqoka isidwaba ngoba abantu abaningi endaweni bebazi ukuthi ngiwumfana, negenge yabafana engiphila nayo, abaningi bathukile, abanye bebuza kumina ukuthi ubani ozomula kini? Ngivele ngithi omunye udadewethu ngisaba ukuthi imina.
Ngendlela ekwakugcwele ngayo?
Bathi babefuna ukubona i-lesbian imula.

La izinsizwa zazigiya zingilande emfuleni sesiya esigcawini. 

Isibopho esifakwe umama ekhanda, esokuvimba ukuthi umoya ungabi khona.
Netshali alibeke emahlombe.  Umoya nje, just a wind, kuba nomoya omkhulu ongadiliza izindlu. Kuvinjwa wona.

La ekushunqa khona intuthu, kusendlini yakwa gogo, umama usishisela impepho mina newele lami, kumi imbuzi yewele kodwa ayivelanga. Ubika umsebenzi emsamu.

Lesi ngiguqile umfwethu ubambe umhlwehlwe awukhipha emanzini, uzongigqokisa wona. Lesi engihleli khona phansi, ngase ngembeswa, abakomalume nabakamkhwenyana kadade wethu omncane.

Isithombe esinokhamba , njengoba ngangihleli emfuleni, nabadala abangasekho basuke bekhona, ukhamba kusuke kuwolwabo, kodwa baphuzelwa imina kancane, ngihabule.

… uma umuliswa ubizwa ngomakoti, umalume wakho olande kuyena umkhonto ubizwa ngomkhwenyana.

Ukwenzelwa kwami umemulo kungijabulisile, noma bengisaba ukugqoka isidwaba ngoba abantu abaningi endaweni bebazi ukuthi ngiwumfana, negenge yabafana engiphila nayo, abaningi bathukile, abanye bebuza kumina ukuthi ubani ozomula kini? Ngivele ngithi omunye udadewethu ngisaba ukuthi imina. Ngendlela ekwakugcwele ngayo? Bathi babefuna ukubona i Lesbian imula.

Lo owedansane e blue, umfowethu olama ongilamayo, uwu number 3, lo owe jersey eli black & whites, umzala wami uyena omele umalume ngoba akasekho, u-Bheki Mthembu, umfowethu uKwazi Gwala, abahleli phansi omzala bonke bazalwa omalume. 

Isidwaba siyisembatho sakwazulu, imvunulo yakwa Zulu,esho ukuba umakoti.
Umhlwehlwe njengoba uhlangene uthule usho ukuthi ngiseyi virgin kodwa kade ngaqala ukuqonywa.
 

Inkomo nenkonyane, kwakuzidlela nje, akuhlangene nomemulo.

Imali ekhanda usuka uphiwa , iyaye ikhokhe izikweletu ezenziwe ngomsebenzi.

Engikwenzelwe umama, ngiyakusaba, angazi ngiyomjabulisa ngani?
Ngifisa sengathi bonke omama abazele ama Lesbians bengawakhombisa uthando bawamukele njengabantwana babo.
Ne Nduna ephethe ingimangazile ukuthi isukume ize emcimbini womuntu ofana nami, ikhombise ukungacwasi ngokobulili, yaze yasho kwabayi intervier yathi umuntu uphila impilo ayithandayo.
Lokho kwangijabulisa…

Lapha ngikhashwe izintombi ezihlolwayo zasendaweni, ezihamba umhlanga, ezingakaze zihlangane nomuntu wesilisa.

Kulesithombe ngihlezi nomama wami.

... eyokuzibona ngigqoke u bra ingithusile, bengiqala, ngingakwazi nokuwugqoka, umama wayengithengele oveza i cleavage, ngawunqaba. Usisi wami wangithengela
o right, kona iyona part eyabanzima ukudlula ukufaka isidwaba.

Umphakathi waseNquthu, obaba omama nabafana bakhona, bayaphila, bengicabanga ukuthi bazongixwaya emva kokungibona ukuthi ngiyintombazane, kodwa bavele baqhubeka ngendlela abebengithatha ngayo, nobaba bendawo basangibiza ngo ndodana.

Uma uphila impilo yobuqenge ezindaweni zasemakhaya, akunankinga njengasemalokishini, ngoba kunemithetho eqinile evikela wonke umuntu, njengokudlwengulwa kwama Lesbian, akwenzeki, nokuhlukunyezwa kwawo,

Inkinga engiba nayo mina emakhaya, uma kuhlatshiwe kuba nzima ukuthi ngizohlala nobani? Angingeni esibayeni ukuyodla inhloko namadoda, amantombazane ayangixwaya uma ngidla esithebeni sawo. Ngigcina ngihlaliswa ngedwa. Kube buhlungu kimi.

Photos by Lindeka Qampi commissioned by Zanele Muholi

My name is Katiso Kgope, and I was born on September 18, in 1995.
I was born in Glen Wood hospital, Benoni my parents are Mandla Kgope and the late Mpho Kgope – Monyake.

I was given the name of Katiso by my mother, which originates from the Setswana term Goatisa which means Addition, basically an addition to our big family.

I speak English, iSiZulu and Setswana fluently.

From a very young age, mentally my mind was feminine. I did not know why at the time as I was still very young and did not have a clear understanding of the mental state I was in.

But for some reason I had always been attracted to all the things girls would be attracted to and wanted nothing to do with what boys would be attracted to.
I was told that when I was still a child, every morning when my mother got ready for work, I would always be in her bedroom playing with all her things such as her makeup, her jewellery, especially her shoes, I was in love with her shoes.

My father would take me and lock me up in the car when my mother got ready for work in a sense that they were hoping the longer I stayed away, the better chances of me losing interest in such things and little did they know that, that was just the tip of the ice berg.

I did not know what being trans meant when I was a child, I didn’t understand what I was doing but for some reason it felt normal to me.

I am a beautiful trans woman, and I strongly believe that we all come from God, and that perhaps sometimes He makes mistakes because I feel my original body parts were given to the wrong individual.

I consider myself to be a cordial person, as I have been told. I am a very friendly and a social butterfly and there is nothing I enjoy more than meeting new people, especially those who are just like me, because I find the different types of life stories of other trans women very fascinating.

I feel that just making new friends with other transwomen will be just a beautiful experience.
I also entered 2 pageants, I lost the title of Miss Gay Daveyton and the second pageant I entered I won Miss Valentine’s Second Princess along side Miss T as the third and first Princess and Cuteness as the Queen.

I wish to have a sex change when my financial situation allows me to. There is nothing that would make me happier than to be an actual woman.

To be honest I love how I look, but like anyone else, there are just a few things I would like to change; such as my smile, my narrow hips and my flat chest as well as getting a female organ. That would be the cherry on top.

I would have loved to be able to physically give birth but sadly we all know that will not happen.

My grandmother whom I lived with in a township called Daveyton, passed away on June 21.

My mother died when I was three years old and my father looked after me until I finished high school. My father has not fully accepted the fact that I am trans, and I highly doubt he ever will.

His hatred of my sexual preference has resulted in a huge rift in our relationship in such a way that, we hardly ever speak.
The only time we communicate is when school is involved; otherwise we have nothing to talk about. Basically there is no father-child relationship.

Its even worse that he has a new wife and a new baby girl, which gave my dad room to make excuses to not support me financially where school is not involved, but I love my baby sister anyway.

I attended a primary school called Lee Rand Primary School until grade 5 when I had to change to Pine Grove Primary School where I finished junior school.

I had to move to the different primary schools because the first school didn’t treat me well due to my sexuality. I then went to Springs Technical High school, and matriculated in 2013.
I did not study further than High School.

I have always dreamed of being a model, but everything I have tried to do has failed because my father was not supportive.

My first dream was to become an actor, I was hoping that I was going to attend the National School of the Arts but my dad said it was too expensive, so that failed like my modelling.

I then decided that I want to study fashion at any fashion college, and I heard the same excuse I have been hearing from him for any school I wanted, “that is too expensive, I cant afford”.
I had gotten so sick of that line so much that I decided to resort to my plan C, which was to attend a government college in Benoni called Benoni Ekurhuleni College.

When I applied it was full, so I had to settle for Springs Ekurhuleni College. I decided to study something that would please my father as he was willing to pay for something that was more on the “practical side”.

I am currently studying towards a Diploma in Marketing at Springs Ekurhuleni College. I wish to further my studies after receiving my diploma in marketing and studying what I have always wanted; fashion.

I have always had a dream of becoming a trans super model because I feel that so far the world is yet to see a transsexual woman take the title.

What I fail to understand is why trans women are never in adverts in South African magazines, as well as TV series and in movies.

Since no one had the courage to do so that is all about to change. I plan to be the first transsexual super model to make it big in the world and make a name for myself and most importantly to represent for all trans women that did not get a chance to let the world know who we are and what we stand for.

The world needs to learn that the LGBT community consists of human beings and we also have dreams and its time that all changed.

I wish to travel to New York, Los Angeles, Miami, Paris, London, Belgium and Greece to do things such as photo shoots, fashion shows, exhibitions and any kind of event.

I want to do a photo shoot in the Arc de Triomph, Eiffel Tower and in the neo-classic Haussmannian boulevards plus. Have a shoot in the beautiful Central Park in New York, Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, Times Square and most importantly in Hollywood, and the Hollywood walk of fame, the Myrtos Beach, Mykonos, and Santorini.

I wish to get the chance to meet famous idols such as Bonang Matheba, Somizi Mhlongo, Khanyi Mbau, Dineo Ranaka, and other international fashion designers such as Marc Jacobs, Stella MCcartney.

I would also like to meet Rupaul of Rupaul’s Drag Race, a famous tv series of drag queens and trans women, competing to see who is the best of the best.

Text by Lerato Dumse
Photos by Lindeka Qampi

When the casket carrying the body of Disebo Gift Makau (23), was lowered six feet underground at a Ventersdorp cemetery, in the North West, on August 23.

Queer mourners franked the coffin of Disebo during the funeral service…          and burst into song

Family and friends who gathered in Tshing township to bid her goodbye, could not contain their emotions.
While some wailed uncontrollably, others shed their tears in silence, with pain, sorrow and sadness written on their faces.

Gift’s body was discovered in the middle of Women’s month, on August 15 by her neighbor in the yard where she was killed.

Speaking to mourners at the funeral, a relative Assah Molapo explained how he arrived on the scene to find Gift’s half naked and lifeless body, with a few other people gathered.

He narrated how the wire used while strangling Gift had punctured her skin and was still lodged inside her neck.
Adding that about 20cm of hose pipe was inserted in her mouth, tied with a shoe lace and left with water running inside her body.

A manhunt began leading to the suspect’s arrest days later.
Molapo said it was tracing Gift’s last steps that helped them to narrow down the suspect list.

Molapo revealed when the suspect’s mother realised her son was a suspect, she launched an investigation of her own in her house.

Leading to the discovery of a cell phone she didn’t recognize, which she handed over, and it was identified as belonging to Gift.
While the letter he (suspect) sent, after writing it to his mom while in jail, is expected to also be used in prosecuting him.

  
Now the man whom Gift considered to be a close friend, having grown up playing together in the same community is facing a rape and murder charge.

While Gift was due to have collected her diploma certificate in Business Management on the day her body was discovered.

What is also disheartening for Molapo when describing the scene, is the state of the grass and flowers which he said is an indication of the physical struggle that went on for a long time that fateful evening.

He said people’s failure to act by going to see what was happening or call the police when they heard Gift’s screams. He is inconsolable with the claim that people who were 5 meters away heard nothing, while those 70 meters away heard her cries.

Ward councilor, Mapule Mataboge was at the forefront in the uproar and condemnation for Gift’s murder. She said she has always had a close relationship with LGBTI people in her community who come to her for assistance when facing family problems and even relationship problems.

She remembered Gift as a child, always smiling and polite, even when she was being reprimanded.
Mataboge appealed to parents of LGBTI children to change their stereotypes, discrimination and calling their own children names.

Freddy Dunjane SAFA chairperson for the competition committee in Ventersdorp said Gift was the first female referee in Ventersdorp.

Gift played defense for her team Real Mighty Ladies, and was affectionately known as Owen by her teammates.

While Thabang Mangane president of the SRC at Vuselela FET said they would be marching to court to show support for Gift and ensure the suspect doesn’t get bail.
“Gays and lesbians are from our families, we must eat and laugh with them, not murder them,” added Mangane.

Related links

2014 Aug. 22: Photos from Disebo Gift Makau’s memorial service

and

2014 Aug. 19: Makau family mourns the brutal murder of their beloved

 by Lebo Mashifane

On August 29, 2014, Lindeka Qampi, Zanele Muholi, Martha Qumba and myself visited Aurora Girls High School in Zola One, Soweto. It’s a school where Lindeka and Zanele are busy tutoring photography to some learners after school hours.

When we arrived there some of the learners were still in class and it was difficult to get a vacant classroom to occupy. The school had classrooms with broken windows and it was a very windy and cold day. Classrooms were freezing and the wind was blowing through the broken windows. And it is built on a field with water and it is located next to a cemetery.

Martha Qumba on the left glancing in the room where learners where practising their lithography artworks…

Martha a researcher from Cape Town interviewed some of the learners while I captured the interviews on video. It was interesting and insightful to hear how the learners spoke of their first camera experience. The most common issue they encountered when taking their very first picture was taking a blurry picture.

Busisiwe Radebe motivating young female photographers at Aurora Girls High School on the 29th Aug. 2014

We were later joined by Busisiwe Radebe and Makwele Makwele from the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI). Busisiwe did a presentation informing the learners about opportunities that the DTI can offer them, such as incentives and internships.

The presentation also was very motivational. She was not only professional but she also talked about her personal experience as she expressed her love for the learners. Her message to the children was ”Each one Teach One.”

L-R: Thando Khumalo and Kamo Petlele, our young promising photographers… Photos by Lindeka Qampi

The visual work done by Lindeka and Zanele was very powerful. They have brought opportunities into the school for the learners. Not only have they ”given back to community” or take a girl child to school but they became pillars that carry these learners on an everyday basis.

Linda Mankazana, an educator Aurora and 2014 PhotoXP collaborator thanked the guest speaker for her special visit and mentioned that the school has 1300 learners and only 1 percent of the entire school is given opportunities that even past matriculants never had. She said these learners spend their month end weekend in a classroom developing themselves.

Previous by Lebo

2014 Aug. 9: My name is Woman

My name is Lesiba Mothibe also known as Lee. I was born on the 5 August 1984 in BBH
(hospital’s name) now known as Tambo Memorial Hospital. I’m the first born and have two siblings a brother and sister.

I matriculated in 2002 at Benoni Educational College, then in 2003 I attended FET the Ekurhuleni East Colleges. I graduated in 2004, obtaining the Clothing Production Diploma. During 2003 to 2005 I was also a Beauty Queen won 6 titles in 2 years. Including the most precious one to my heart as the first Miss Gay Daveyton in 2003, that’s when my life got exciting and I follow to enter other pageants in and around Gauteng.

Featuring in Black Queer Youth series, Parktown, Johannesburg (2013). 

 I’m currently leaving in Daveyton, renting a room. I’m working as a Collections Consultant in a bank, studying part time Project Management Degree at UNISA. I also run and organize the Miss Gay Daveyton.

I love my Daveyton I want to bring change and positivity in the LGBTIQ community in my neighbourhood too. Though I stayed in other towns and townships, I eventually came back to instil the change I want to see in our township.

I’m a game changer, leader and activist. I’m also an introvert, come across as shy sometimes, but I have the ability to shine in any given situation. I’m mostly motivated by the thoughts of being average and normal. I push boundaries and create opportunities for myself. 

I’m a founder of Uthingo (the rainbow) together with other gays and lesbians in Daveyton. I was selected as a chairperson for two years until I resigned in order to pursue my own visions. I’m proud to have been part of the organization and wish them the best.

Featuring in Beauties series… With Yaya & Mellisa in December 2013, in Durban South Beach… 

With my friends Funo & Akhona at Soweto Pride in 2012…     © Photos by Zanele Muholi

 
I have just turned 30, I’m loving it and thankful to the Lord for blessing me with such an interesting life. I grew up in a loving environment with both my parents. This would have marked their 30 years anniversary as they married a month after I was born. My father passed on when I was in matric, two weeks before I turned 18 and two months before I wrote my final exams. It was a traumatic year ever in my life as I lost my polar because we’re a close knit family. 
My mom was there for all of us, she’s a strong and powerful woman who stands and supports us at all times no matter what.

Everyone at home knows about my sexuality and they knew since I can remember.  My siblings have never discriminated against me in any form. My identity was always visual and I never had the pressure to hide and be in the so called closet. I’ve lived with my grandma mostly, she always told me how special and beautiful I was. She embraced me. I believe that helped everyone to appreciate and warm up to my uniqueness. The only discrimination I encountered was from the school, neighbourhood and church.

I like reading, going out for movies and drinks with friends, networking and implementing my ideas.

I believe there’s no time to rest while our community lacks knowledge and understanding, that’s why I haven’t moved out of Daveyton. I want to develop my township first and leave a legacy behind even though a lot of people always tell me that I’ve brought a change. I’m not yet satisfied with the little I have done. Hence they say charity begins at home. A good friend of mine said to me ” acknowledge and celebrate yourself, your achievements and congratulate yourself at all times because people won’t do that while you’re still alive. It motived me to write and tell my own story because I noticed it was true. We need to change our mindset and embrace each other while we still alive.

For a very long time I identified myself as a feminine gay man but I never found a sense of belonging and know myself. With lots of soul searching and learning more about different sexualities I’ve found my identity. I’m a proud feminine transgender, I endorse my uniqueness and caring myself with pride and dignity.

I have been dating my partner for nine years, he’s a bisexual man. I’m comfortable in dating bisexual man. Both our families know about our relationship, we seldomly go out to LGBTIQ events as he feels left out. We decided to separate our social life with our private life and its working-out perfectly. 
Love to me is pure and simple, beyond honesty and integrity lies trust which is the foundation of love.

Hate crimes are a nightmare to both homosexuals and their parents. We live in fear of being ourselves and embracing our being even though we have the most liberal Constitution in the entire world. We are not free, we face the same insults, get victimized all the time. We must make sure that our safety is in our own hands.

I have to be careful where ever I go and that’s not fair. How will killing me change anyone to be straight?
That’s why I believe we need the Justice Department which is disciplined.

My township is not different from any other South African township. I’m a hate crime survivor myself, the scars I have on my back shows how stronger I am. Even when it happened eleven years ago I still remember it like it was yesterday.

As a leader I would encourage homosexuals to stop discriminating against each other, that’s when heterosexuals get the strength to be homophobic. We need to stand up for each other and embrace our uniqueness. Let’s love one another. I would like to be part of a happier and successful LGBTIQ.

I would also like to open a gay Lifestyle Centre where I can be able to have variety of activities there, for instance a pub and grill, art gallery, theatre and a club. 

I’ve agreed to work on the Beauties Project because beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and any other form. I’m representing all the transgender man and woman who can’t celebrate themselves, not acknowledged and still fear to be themselves. The world needs to know that although we have the liberal and fair Constitution amongst other countries yet we are not free. The United Nations (UN) needs to intervene because our own laws are failing us.

Previous life stories

2014 Aug. 9: “I am not a lesbian by choice”

and

2014 July 26: “I was born this way and I cannot change the skin that I live in”

and

2014 June 25: I consider myself beautiful not handsome…

and

2014 May 24: The special boy

and

2014 May 7: I don’t like being identified in terms and definitions

and

2014 May 18: Behind the beautiful face you see is a lesbian who is torn into a million pieces

and

2014 May 30: I was a boy who would one day grow up to be a man

and

2013 Oct. 22: I thought university was for the rich

and

2013 Oct. 16: I am a beautiful young dyke, a woman lover

and

2013 Oct. 12: I just feel she deserves much better

and

2013 Oct. 2: I am a normal transgender woman’

and

2013 Aug. 22: Am exactly where I’m supposed to be

and

2013 July 15: The virus has become a silent relative

and

2013 June 27: Who I Am

and

2013 March 10: “I love women and they love me”

and

2013 February 28: I am not a Victim but a Victor

Text by Christie van Zyl
Photos by Lindeka Qampi and Zanele Muholi

An inspiring message of Social co-hesion and responsibility was set at the launch of the ZAZI – Know your strength campaign. The event took place at the University of Johannesburg on the 14th of August 2014. It was attended by approximately 500 people.. There was a morning and afternoon program, where some parts of the event involved youth dialogue spearheaded by a panel of six members of civil society, government and students.

  Deputy Minister of Social Development,Henrietta Bogopane-Zulu who spearheaded the Zazi launch…

Zazi is intended for the creation of a conducive environment for the honing of young women’s inner strength, to be able to stand up against a term coined as the 4 M’s – Macho Mobile Men with Money; as well any form of abuse intended for them due to circumstantial adversities.

The most important emphasis was placed on curbing the spread of HIV/AIDS across the plain, including the safety of young boys & men who are target to older women. During the afternoon event several speeches took place emphasising the importance of tackling poverty in South Africa. This was spoken to be the greatest influence on young people giving in to ‘sugar daddies and spicy mommies’. Amongst attendees that gave speeches, was present Dr Ramneek Ahluwali, Director of HEAIDS (Higher Education and Training HIV/AIDS), as the voice of the students was present Ms Nikiwe Mboweni, president of the Student Representative Council.

The Minister sharing a joke with Steve Letsike…
_____________________

Further attendance included Professor Ihron Lester Rensburg – Vice-Chancellor of the University of Johannesburg, Mr Nick Balkrishen – South African College of Principals Organization(SACPO), Steve Letsike – Deputy Chairperson of the South National AIDS Council (SANAC); as well as a Ms Hannalee as representative of the Honourable Deputy Minister of Higher Education & Training, Mr Mduduzi Manana. Speeches were centred around the ‘toxic mix in our midst of poverty and patriarchy as the driver of extra-ordinary challenges causing this extra-ordinary outbreak of disease’ – Professor Rensburg.

Several performances also took place by the likes of Lebo Mashile who recited poetry speaking about the responsibility of society shaping young boys into responsible men; as well the gracefulness if woman and her need for evolution to self love.‘Breath in protection, exhale love’ are the words she ended her performance with.

Our beloved poet and writer Lebo Mashile who recited her poetics… ___________________________

The Zazi video was also aired, which is a song that is performed by South African artist Zonke where the song speaks about knowing yourself in terms of your sexual health; the tying of the ribbon symbolizing bringing a helping hand to social ills & taking responsibility to lead with all of our strength and power. The Zazi video boasts green ribbons which are said to be symbolic of ‘new beginnings and protection'; this was established in a nation wide forum of workshops where young women were approached about the colour they would like to represent the Zazi campaign. The video was wrapped up by young poet, Nova Masango who spoke words of encouragement to young women to know their worth.

The last of the performances came from the UJ Soweto campus Arts & Culture drama group which outlined scenarios of how young woman get raped by their school teachers for marks and how AIDS spreads through vulnerable youngsters at tertiary level who are engaging in irresponsible as well as inter-generational relationships. Honourable Deputy minister of Department of Social Development Ms Henrietta Ipeleng Bogopane- Zulu, gave a touching speech on ten life lessons of trying to be a perfect human in the light of striving to be our best. She closed off the speeches with a beautiful ceremony, gathering young men and woman to tie ribbons to each others’ wrists to make a commitment to bettering the future of young people through giving them platforms to know themselves and their inner strength to avoid sexual health problems, as well as rapes and the spread of HIV/AIDS. Deputy Minister Zulu also gave thanks to JHHESA team – John Hopkins Health and Education South Africa for the sustainability of the Zazi campaign.

Khanyisa Dutywa of the SANAC Women’s Sector took the podium in closing and started her thank you’s with a powerful ‘WOMANDLA’, saying ‘my sister’s keeper , tshela mina ngale z’khiphani’ (tell me what’s happening on the other side). She went on to question where the women’s sector is on campus and then stated that we should unite and claim the youth of 1976 to fight gender inequality within the context of this launch happening in Soweto. It was a beautiful and heartfelt launch. All the speakers and Minister Zulu said all the right things that we young people need to hear.

I cannot help but wonder though when all this information would get to young people in the rural and township areas. How do we go about distributing this information to the rural areas of South Africa. It is all nice and well to have attendees of a high caliber and students of UJ attending the launch, but what of the young women in rural and township schools that are also experiencing the same things and are about to enter university; or even the real world of work because of circumstance. Many a young woman gets targeted by their boss so that they keep their jobs seeing as they are coming right out of matric. Can we have a conversation about having this Zazi launch in a rural area in a native language that the very people that need it will understand. Speakers spoke of the first generation graduates that suffer mostly from these inter- generational relationships that end up being cases if abuse because of poverty. They are aware that these young people are coming from the rural parts of South Africa, so what is their plan if action to reach those areas.

There is a need for this intervention of which I never heard being addressed at the launch of the Zazi – Know Yourself campaign.

Previous by Christie 2014 July 4: Craddock Chronicles

by Luh Cele

Where: B Section, Umlazi Township

Firstly I would like to acknowledge and congratulate the bridegroom Happy Mchunu and bride Vuyisile Tshabalala for taking the next step in their relationship without any hesitation.

The true reflection of love between partners grows day by day and remains unconditional.

Happy and Vuyisile took the decision to marry and live happily ever after.

Living together as a couple before getting married is unacceptable in the Zulu culture.

Moreover homosexuals take the same route that is followed by heterosexuals in order to marry.

There is no alternative route, lesbian pay  ilobolo  like any other man, in order to be accepted by the bride’s family.

This is the route that Happy has decided to take, the day was well organized and it was maintained accordingly.

We were lucky to witness this tremendous day of ilobolo being paid with inkanyiso.org.

The attendance was amazing and everybody came in numbers. It was not only attended by homosexuals but also heterosexuals were there to support the host.

The mood was jovial and everybody was happy,  it was palpable. The elderly were singing, shrilling and performing the traditional Zulu dance “ukusina”.

The ceremony started about 12pm when everybody was ready to celebrate with both Happy and Vuyisile’s family.

L-R: Our lovely couple Vuyisile Tshabalala and Happy Mchunu on their festive occasion… attended by supportive families and friends… © Photo by Zanele Muholi

The bridegroom’s family came with blankets, and variety of food, drinks, vegetables, two live goats etc. The goats were well dressed in blankets, aprons and handkerchiefs etc.

When the bridegroom’s family was standing in the yard, the bride’s father came and welcomed the bridegroom’s family into his house.

The formal function of the bridegroom handing over gifts to the bride’s family was started by giving both her parents “MaMsibi mother of the bride and Tshabalala father of the bride”. Vuyisile is from a polygamy family which is so united and full of harmony.

Umama shedding tears of joy…

In total thirty-one relatives received their gifts on this day. The list went on to the Msibi’s family.

After receiving their gifts they would sing from the bottom of their heart and there were tears of joy especially from Vuyisile’s mother.

It is normal for the mother of a girl to feel that way during Umembeso. The mother usually feels anxious, thinking if  umembeso will be successful or not, and if everybody is going to be satisfied or not.

Added by knowledge that very soon, her child is going to get married and she’s no longer going to be near her.

It is a point that the parent realises that their child has really grown up and is no longer a child but an adult.

When I went outside the yard I over heard the bridegroom’s conversation with her friends, I quote: “tell me, how are things going inside?” and the friend answered “everything is fine; it is going according to plan.”

The feeling is mutual when the bridegroom is waiting outside not knowing what is happening indoors, a person becomes very curious to know or see if everything is alright.

The receiving of gifts continued and they were all satisfied singing and shrilling conveying their gratitude to the bridegroom’s family.

After the whole ceremony of giving gifts, Tshabalala s  thanked the bridegroom’s family and directed everybody to the second session.

People settled on the side where the engagement was going to take place. The bride’s family was busy with refreshments and lunch.

People were so relaxed and enjoying their food. At that time the program director was welcoming Happy and Vuyisile to the front table which was beautifully prepared. They were accompanied by Happy’s friends.

Behind the scene the Tshabalala family was busy slaughtering the goats.

Dr (Pastor) Z. Zungu (VMCI) blessed the ring and also highlighted a few things about sexual orientation because she was aware that people are not familiar with that ceremony.

Dr  Z. Zungu said, “today I came to bless this engagement ring to tie these partners together and forever. After the post-apartheid government in 1994…, South African government legalized same sex marriage in 2006.”

The ceremony was accepted by both families and their relatives. I love the way Happy and Vuyisile’s friends showed their support.

Friends, from left Zhane & Tk…

Far right, Phindi Boqo came all the way from Klerksdorp to celebrate with couple as fellows and friends wishing them well…

It was the best motivation for other LGBTI’s and for other families to see that this can happily happen, its not a curse but it’s all about love between two human beings.

The ceremony was phenomenal, attended by people who share different norms, colour, identities, caste, ages, socioeconomic status and cultural background that all blended well.

Looking at their facial expressions, the traditional attire, lesbians were wearing their best outfits and matched with their partners.

There were friends who grew up with Happy and Vuyisile, colleagues and friends from church that support them.
It is also known that this population is suspected of violating cultural gender norms from the cultural beliefs perspectives and the cultural norms.

We acknowledge that you’ve kept the cultural norms of paying lobola as it is.  We will never forget your special day and we are happy that as Inkanyiso we were chosen to document this day for you.

We really appreciate it and we are looking forward to the big day…

Vuyisile’s relatives…

Previous by Luh

2014 Aug. 11: My experiences of Paris, Mpumalanga and Durban Gay Pride

… where the new Faces and Phases book was launched at Volkshochschule Ulm.de

The event started with an introduction by Dagmar Engels (director atVH_Ulm.de)  seated on the right and Artur Walther (publisher and owner of Walther Collection).
Then I was in conversation with them both, Anna Strauss (curator) from Walther Collection and Dagmar…

In the photo above I am responding to their questions for the audience to get the context of my work…

… with Dagmar Engels, (me) Muholi, Anna Strauss and Artur Walther on the far right

Details of new Faces and Phases (2006-2014) are as follows:

http://www.steidl.de/flycms/en/Books/Faces-and-Phases/0711243158.html

My updated bio:

http://www.artofartbusiness.com/#!rcs-zanele-muholi/c1sa6

At the time for book signing … with Susanne.

About 100 individuals were in attendance…

Difficult Love (2010) was screened after the presentation and book presentation…

With my new friends Erla (left) and Fritzi (centre)

… the events are still ongoing. Nomfusi will be performing on Tues., 30 Sept. ’14

I got this programm from Frauentreff haus…

© Photos by Valerie Thomas and Zanele Muholi (2014)

Click on the links below for press related articles

http://www.swr.de/swr2/kultur-info/kultur-regional-zanele-muholi-artur-walther-anita-schlesak-ulm/-/id=9597116/nid=9597116/did=14232274/wiws4z/index.html

and

My name is Ayanda Masina, popularly known as ‘Ayanda Kiss’ or Kgokgo to some friends.
I have a lot of nicknames. I guess it goes with the level we at with our friendship.

On a beautiful day on April 25 in 1991 I was born in Tsakane, and I have been residing there since.
I was raised by my mom’s older sister and her husband, however she has since passed on, then I had to move in with,my mom.

So I currently stay with my mom, four siblings, granddad and my uncle. I’m the oldest of five children from my mom and the fourth of nine kids from my dad.
He was never a father to us until the day he passed on, because he was never present.

I started my schooling at Shadrack Mbambo Primary School in Tsakane. Times were hard, because my mom was unemployed. I remember one cloudy day when the man who was supposed to be my daddy carried me on his back to school.

I had not yet been bought a proper school uniform so I was wearing all black and takkies (the only memory I have of him as a child) every child there had on their proper school uniform and shiny black shoes with their school bags.

I felt so left out, being the odd one out. I wanted to run out of there, but I couldn’t.  So to pass time I’d run to the toilets till lunch time or go to my Mam’khulu’s (aunt) house.

I would cry and eventually go back. I became a,learner when I finally received my proper school uniform and shiny black shoes.
In Grade five I was part of the debating and public speaking team at school and I made class monitor and was part of the top 5 English student in school life was great.

I then proceeded to Tsakane Secondary School were I was part of the drum majorettes team and part of the best biology and English learners. By Grade 10, I’d proven to be a smart child. Although it was odd that I never took interest in boys but I had a crush on a girl instead.

Ayanda Masina (2013) is currently featuring in Faces and Phases (2006-2014) book by Zanele Muholi, that was launched in Ulm, Germany last night…

I would see “tomboys” but never really understood what was going on till I moved to college. It was then that I understood that there are lesbians in the world and after all I was normal.

I was studying Information Technology (IT) but due to unforeseen circumstances I had to leave college.
That didn’t put me down, it really broke me. I needed to be something I have to be something. Since there was nothing to do and I was seeing the crimes perpetrated on lgbti persons, I joined the Equality Project (which has since closed down) and I was later elected as a co-ordinator for the Tsakane and KwaThema groups.

I always wanted to be on life changing and advocacy part of life, so it was an opportunity for me. It was sad when equality project closed down, then I moved to EPOC as only a member. You would find me in every march, workshop, and picket there was.

I had never seen myself in the spotlight and showcasing my looks and fashion sense, but in 2012 my then girlfriend asked me to join a pageant I wasn’t so keen on joining but she kept begging and telling me I could make it.
I eventually joined in the rehearsals I actually liked it on the final day I was crowned 1st Prince, and I was pleased by then.  I knew I would love being a model and stand in front of the camera.

I always felt my family knew about my sexual orientation due to my Identity but I later learnt that orientation doesn’t determine identity. I was surprised when I appeared on Shift in 2012 April few days before I turned 21 and family member asked my mom why I didn’t tell them I was lesbian.

I was surprised because I thought they knew but even after that I never wanted to explain myself, I never felt I should.

Even on the day I brought my first girlfriend home, there wasn’t any harsh or ill-treatment, instead she was like a daughter and sister to my mom and siblings.
At times I’d get jealous thinking she was taking my place and even now with my current girlfriend I have support.

However, as we all know there’s homophobia and there are those who aren’t lucky enough to dodge the hate perpetrated by homophobes. But change will come and I’ll help bring it about.

We are currently working on building partnerships and forming allies with community members, which I feel will bring about great change.
Seeing that lgbti persons face a lot of violations and it is bad when you go to service providers and receive secondary victimisation.

So I’m working with our little group in Tsakane, which I’m co-founder empowered by the Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW) and RAAP we will try and bring about the change we want to see.

I was super thrilled when Zanele Muholi called and asked to do a background on my life and knowing she’s a photographer, and doing advocacy through it. I knew I was going to be part of a great project for advocacy as part of my everyday life. Taking a different route in doing it was a great achievement and much of a pleasure.
Previous life stories

2014 Aug. 30: I’m a game changer, leader and activist

and

2014 Aug. 9: “I am not a lesbian by choice”

and

2014 July 26: “I was born this way and I cannot change the skin that I live in”

and

2014 June 25: I consider myself beautiful not handsome…

and

2014 May 24: The special boy

and

2014 May 7: I don’t like being identified in terms and definitions

and

2014 May 18: Behind the beautiful face you see is a lesbian who is torn into a million pieces

and

2014 May 30: I was a boy who would one day grow up to be a man

and

2013 Oct. 22: I thought university was for the rich

and

2013 Oct. 16: I am a beautiful young dyke, a woman lover

and

2013 Oct. 12: I just feel she deserves much better

and

2013 Oct. 2: I am a normal transgender woman’

and

2013 Aug. 22: Am exactly where I’m supposed to be

and

2013 July 15: The virus has become a silent relative

and

2013 June 27: Who I Am

and

2013 March 10: “I love women and they love me”

and

2013 February 28: I am not a Victim but a Victor

© Photos by Zanele Muholi (2014)

I didn’t write this because I had nothing better to do.

I didn’t write this because I want recognition.

I wrote this because I’m embarking on a self-discovery journey.

I want to share my experience with the hope that you learn from it.

I wrote because I want to warn people that relate to my story.

I survived RAPE more than once!

I know how it feels to be an addict.

I wrote because I know how it feels to be given a second chance.

I want to let you know that you’re not alone, God is always there.

Lastly: Because I’m grateful to the Almighty, Mother, my better half and friends.

HERE IS MY STORY

My name is Sibahle ‘Steve’ Nkumbi, I’m a recovering alcohol addict. I was never able to say “No” to alcohol, until I had to make a choice to kick the habit or die trying.

I never thought I had an addictive gene.
Growing up I hated alcohol with a passion.
Five years later since I started drinking I realized where my problem with alcohol came from. Some say an addictive gene is just an excuse to abuse substances, some say it is real and I say “It is scary and destructive”.
Hear me now beautiful people. The ones I’ve hurt through my addiction, hurting you was never my intention. Far from it!

As a child after matric I left to study with a dream of owning my own production company one day.
My first year at varsity was a breeze and I saw my future from there. Little did I know that I was my own biggest enemy.
I became weak to peer pressure and couldn’t stand my own ground. I resisted until mid-2009, everything changed from then up until now.

It all started with an innocent sip ‘to have a taste and see how alcohol made me feel’ before I knew it I was on my 4^th glass of wine and from that day onwards I was hooked.

My first drunken stupor was an adventure; my friends and I plus my girlfriend from then drank and went to a bash on campus.

That’s where things started to get confusing, I felt dizzy and the lights plus the music did something to my movement and balance. All was a blur after that.

I woke up the next morning, realized I was in my room but there was someone next to me, my heart started to beat faster as I took the covers of their face. I felt a sense of relief when I discovered it was my partner.
I couldn’t move my feet, there were traces of blood on the floor and then my heart started to race again. The infamous question followed ‘what happened last night?’
I couldn’t remember anything and I discovered that I got so drunk the previous night to a point where I walked bare feet on broken glass so that explained the pain when I tried to move my feet.

I vowed to never touch the substance again.

It wasn’t long before my next drinking session and then I got used to it so much that it became a weekend thing from a weekend thing to every day drinking. I couldn’t go to class without a glass of wine. I still wasn’t aware that it was getting dangerous, I got introduced to different kinds of alcohol made drinking buddies and even went ekasi in taverns. I realized I had a problem when my alcohol intake created problems in my relationship. I started to not care about my schoolwork, the girl I claimed to love and the mother that worked so hard to send me to school.

Through alcohol I became the devil’s advocate. I have always vowed for sober habits and monogamy…
Oh wait, that was before I became a substance abuser.

In a blink of an eye, the Steve I knew was gone. I started flirting occasionally with pretty girls in the club and on campus until it became cheating. I cheated until I got caught. I promised to change but I kept going back to alcohol until she left me (my partner). I started to resent Baby Eyes (the woman I got caught with more than twice).
I became lonely and alcohol was my only comforter, I then made friends with the wrong people and drank some more until one of my male friends tried to rape me; I managed to fight him off and made a run for it.

Instead of letting alcohol go I distanced myself from male friends and continued drinking.
It wasn’t long before I had my second attempted rape and I was saved by my period, he managed to take my pants off but after seeing the blood he couldn’t proceed. I survived that too.

Trauma made me drink more, eventually I became depressed. The depression took three years, after three psychologists, I became destructive again. I had an affair with one of them and we started drinking together instead of having counseling sessions.

A near death bike collision with a car brought my senses back and I stopped drinking for a while.

I started again the minute I got off my anti-depressants thinking I had it under control but I didn’t.

I knew I relapsed when I lost my job but I was in denial, by 2012 I bounced back and took control of my life and drank occasionally, it went well until mid-2013. I picked up where I left off, I had a bad year and stress was overwhelming and so I drank, it hurt my current partner again and I saw the pain in her eyes. I was on and off alcohol but I still had my partner on my side.

It is now 2014 and a life changing event took me off alcohol, I tried to commit suicide but I was caught in time. I could not deal with the guilt, shame and pain I was feeling. I prayed until I cried so hard that it took me two hours to stop the tears.

Right there and then I decided to stop, it is not easy but it can be done. I was not going to let history repeat itself, I took charge and shamed the devil.

You might be asking why it took so much for me to stop

I had Daddy issues:

I grew up with both my parents and my dad was an alcoholic, he still is. I resented him for putting alcohol first, I am 24 years now and I don’t remember seeing him sober as a little girl. He had empty promises. My inner child was still bleeding. I never forgot the day he was supposed to get me a bicycle, he drank the money and came back to me with only 4rands without the bicycle and he was drunk as a sailor. I was only 11 years but I remember it like it was yesterday, it broke my heart.

The fact that he could buy me beer now that I was older, but was never able to pay for my tuition fees hurt me again because I realised he will never put his obligations first.
I lashed out at my Mom for marrying him, knowing exactly that she did it for my siblings and me so we can grow up with both parents.
It was a scar for life, I sat and realised I was becoming like my Dad and I got up and prayed for strength to stop. My little brother is a drug addict at the age of 19, I’m afraid for him. I was also 19 when I started drinking. Still, my father sees nothing wrong in his actions. The moment I made peace with my life was the exact time I healed inside and decided to turn my life around. I’m still working on it. I’m positive about the future and strong again. I thank God for the strength. All I had to do was to accept the past, face my demons and deal with my inner child. It took me 5 years of destructivity and addiction to come to this point, life is never easy. We live and learn. I’m planning on getting myself a bicycle soon.

Throughout my addiction I did things I never thought I was capable of:

• I stole my Mother’s hard earned money for alcohol
• I neglected my Partner’s tears, feelings and Love
• Hurting my Mom to a point that she wanted to leave her own house
• I had anger management issues
• I physically hit the woman I claimed to love (I’m not proud of it)

No amount of apologies can make up for all the hearts I have broken, people’s sanities I’ve destroyed and my Neurological problems. Because of substance abuse I developed a brain tumour but was detected in time. I admit I was wrong and I sincerely apologise to all my loved ones from the bottom of my heart. Mother blamed herself, thinking she never gave me enough love and all along I had my demons to face.

Addiction is not a life sentence. If you are addicted please seek help. It’s never too late I testify. I am not proud of my past but I have forgiven myself. I am moving on now, in pursuit of my production company.

P.S. Substance abuse is deadly. I’m speaking from experience.

Lovely Sibahle and Christie at home. © Photos by Zanele Muholi 2014

Thanks to Noxolo Nkumbi and Christie van Zyl. Your amazing support time and time again made me who I am today. I’m eternally grateful.

Related links

2013 March 16: Dangerous love
 

Text by Lerato Dumse
Photos by Zanele Muholi 

A suspect is due to appear in the Tsakane Magistrate Court today (October 14), in connection with the fatal stabbing of Phumzile Nkosi (27) on October 2, 2014.

Pastor Dlamini led the funeral service…

Members of Daveyton Uthingo, were there to grieve with the family and friends, standing in front Funo, Pride, Pearl, Sicka and Lesiba.

Musa Williams from EPOC LGBTI spoke deeply at the funeral…

Activists came to support the grieving family…

Miriam Nkosi, the victim’s mother arriving at Vlakfontein cemetery…

Phumzile, a lesbian mother of two boys aged 8 and 9years old, was laid to rest at Vlakfontein cemetery, after a service at home on October 12.

For Miriam Nkosi (54) the funeral of her youngest child meant she had buried four children, three of them killed in violent crimes.

Miriam says she was fetched from her house around 7pm and told that Phumzile had been stabbed in Extension 19, Tsakane, not far from her section in the same township.

When /Inkanyiso visited the family, before documenting the funeral, Miriam only had second hand information, on what happened to her daughter that fateful lateThursday afternoon.

She explained that Phumzile had left home earlier that day and said she was going to visit a friend.

Miriam says she arrived in Ext 19 to find her daughter lying on the street, facing up and dead, while people surrounded her from a distance.

She says it was when she turned her over that she saw the stab wound, while hearing a policeman demand the cloth, used to clean Phumzile’s blood in the house she was allegedly stabbed from, before being moved her to the street.

She added that she wants justice for Phumzile’s death.

Rest in peace… Phumzile Nkosi…
We will always remember you!!!