by Kopano Sibeko

Those were the words expressed by one of the beauty queens failing to answer the question at the first ever Miss Gay Limpopo hosted by Limpopo Proudly Out LGBTI group on the 10^th May 2013 at Blue Moon bar and nightclub. The event drew a lot of patrons who came in to witness history in the making.

Six beauty Queens from in and around Limpopo participated in the pageant to be crowned the first ever Miss Gay Limpopo.

As we arrived at the venue, flamboyant gay men and lesbians hovered outside the nightclub as they anticipated the event to start. You can tell from the atmosphere that everyone was excited to witness what was about to happen in a couple of hours time.

The Inkanyiso crew got into the venue, to observe and document the scenery. We were actually the only local/ LGBTI – queer media to record in detail that special event. Unfortunately we were forgotten the following day after Limpopo Pride march when organisations that supported the initiative were called on stage to share their thoughts.

As we got in at Blue Moon, loud echoes of men acting rather delinquent greeted us. Confused we were told we had to go up another level, as the venue has two floors and the pageant organisers had booked the VIP area upstairs.

As we got to the VIP area the place was laid out in preparation of the event. In the background you could hear people talking and the words I could pick up were “where’s my blush”, “have you seen my dress” and immediately I was intrigued by what was happening behind the curtain that divided the stage area and the changing area.

Out of curiosity I went to take a peek and I found beautiful gay men, looking amazingly ravishing. I, for one have never seen so much sex appeal in femme gay ‘men’.

30 minutes later the place was packed, the most gorgeous dreadlocked lesbian MC, Makh Shimange was welcoming people and the DJ was pumping it up, everything was just a buzz. The Judges were introduced as one of our members Lesego Tlhwale was asked to be one of the judges.

The contestants started strutting their stuff, their first appearance was with casual wear, than swimsuits followed by evening wear and closed the show with their drag outfits.

In between the contests, Nape an upcoming gay hip hop star performed his debut single Versatile which was a nice song, but due to poor sound quality at the club we couldn’t make up half of the words in his song.
As if the sound wasn’t enough of downfall, one of the two contestants that were dancing for him fell off the stage, let’s just say perfection also has hurdles.

The interesting part of the event came, and this time, the contestants were not just judged on their beauty and beautiful long legs. They were now judged on their brains. It was rather disappointing that most of our feminine beautifully dressed competitors were beauties who lacked LGBTI political consciousness. From where I was standing, most of questions that were asked were general questions, or could it be that the judges were too hard on them?

One of the contestants was asked “Which part of your body you don’t like?
The beauty could not even express thyself instead just said – Actually, absolutely, definitely no!
That answer was really out of context than for a person to be straightforward and be relevant.
Another question seemed simply was to another beauty queen who claimed to have won some 2006 gay beauty pageant.
Question: “When was the gay marriage passed in South Africa?”
The person said two years ago, imagine we are in 2013 now for a South African queer person not to know that the Civil Union Act (2006) was legalized 7 years ago. That means that we still have a long way to go as LGBTI individuals in our communities that is in terms of ensuring that we need to be knowledgeable and be educated around the South African Sexual Politics.
I don’t know, but all I’m saying is that we need to be progressive and relevant, as Zanele Muholi would put it, being gay is not a career.

The main prize for this particular contest was that the winner would partake in the National Miss Gay South Africa at the end of the year. Maybe I had high expectations for the queens, but how do we expect them to represent the Limpopian gay community if Basic English language cannot be comprehended, we can’t run away from the fact that it is a universal language.

Overall the event went well, Ycer was crowned the Queen and his counterparts, and Minoj was 1^st princess and Thabo 2^nd princess.

Ycer’s mother was there, to support her son, and I must say it’s good to know that some parents are accepting and are supportive of their homosexual children.

Previous articles by Kopano

2013 April 21: Living a legacy is always better than leaving a legacy

and

2013 April 23: Intraview II

and

2013 April 16: Not just a handsome butch lesbian

and

2013 April 9: I refuse to be abused

by Lerato Dumse

The International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia (IDAHOT) was hosted by Iranti-Org and commemorated in Johannesburg with a flashmob dance in the middle of Carlton Centre’s food court. It is the same vicinity where a black lesbian, Bonisiwe Mtshali was assaulted in 2012  by security guards for kissing her girlfriend, Khanyisa Ndoda.

The flashmob was then followed by an awareness bus tour around Johannesburg CBD, where participants at the event flew the rainbow flag high throughout the tour.

The event was organized by Iranti-Org an LGBTI visual media organisation, according to Iranti-Org, the event was supported by various organizations in Southern Africa including, Inkanyiso, Coalition of African lesbians (CAL), FEW, Sexual Rights Zimbabwe,
1 in 9, Transgender and Intersex Africa (TIA), Gender Dynamix, Limpopo Proudly Out LGBTI, EPOC and Amp Studio.

The idea to host this annual event was adopted 10 years ago in Canada, and continues to spread to more countries including South Africa. The event was dominated by black lesbians a group seen as synonymous to homophobia and hate crime. The poor attendance by other races makes one wonder if homophobia only exists in the townships, if this battle should only be fought by those thought to be most at risk in South Africa.

Thokozani Ndaba conducted a team building exercise during the 2013 IDAHOT event organized by Iranti

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) individuals gathered at Iranti offices situated at the House of Movements in the Joburg CBD. Before walking to Carlton Centre for the first activity there, members of the LGBTI community commanded attention. People stopped their shopping and stared stuck by the queer presence in a public space.

The LGBTI group also sang songs declaring their existence and intention of going nowhere, and two lesbians shared a kiss. Carlton Centre is where Bonisiwe Mtshali was assaulted by security guards she knew and who often asked her to organize girlfriends for them.

Her crime was kissing her girlfriend goodbye. She could not contain her excitement “I am happy that we came here today because I feel that LGBTI people will be free to walk in Carlton centre holding hands or even share a kiss. I know how fortunate I am to still be alive and able to witness this event myself, sadly many never survive hate crimes” said Mtshali with an appreciative smile.

Tsepo K. from Kuruman at Iranti-Org event. Photos by Collen Mfazwe

Tsepo Kgatlhane traveled from Kuruman in Northern Cape and says it’s the first lgbti event he’s ever attended. He is the best friend of the late Thapelo Makhutlhe, who was murdered, castrated and his private parts put in his mouth in Kuruman. “To keep Thapelo’s memory alive I do things and attend events that he would attend, like this one”.

IDAHOT is about raising awareness against discrimination the next activity was a drive around Johannesburg on a open top bus. The drive ended at house of movement where Iranti-Org have offices and it was the venue for the last part of the programme.
Organizations were given an opportunity to speak, Nthabiseng Mokoena from the Transgender and Intersex Africa (TIA) said each group within the lgbti community is working on their own issues in isolation and that delays progress. She also asked if lgbti people are accepting of people in this community who are different from us.

Before his highly energetic performance, which left the crowed asking for more, drag queen Nathi Dlamini made a plea to organizations to visit and be visible in poor areas. Dlamini says she has been attacked and stabbed many times where she lives because of her appearance.
“I have sent many requests for support but they fall on deaf ears. Please come to the informal settlements so the homophobes can see there’s many of us” begged Dlamini.

Previous articles by Lerato

2013 May 6: Archiving Noxolo Nogwaza’s funeral

and

2013 March 28: Feather Awards (re)viewed

and

2011 May 13:  Kwa-Thema Praying for homophobic victims.

and

2011 May 3:  Black Easters for black lesbian community

L-R: Ntando; Charmain; Nomonde & Steshy.
Some members of Gcuwa lesbian group handing over umnikelo to Inkanyiso crew.
Our first (thank you) gift ever … from the community we served.

Photos by Collen Mfazwe

The much loved Thandiswa during her performance at Bassline…

2013.05.25:

The night we never forget was when Thandiswa Mazwai performed at Bassline, Newtown. Johannesburg during the Africa Day celebration.
One of the female music lover could not contain her love for King Tha, she even threw her bra on stage… expressing her obsession.
God knows who that was…
Not only is she a good musician but has Feminist sense/s as well.
She is probably the solo artist of our times to be so generous and work tirelessly with a women’s band.
Thandiswa, we love you!!!

Photos by Zanele Muholi

Related articles

Africa Day Celebrations

Lesego gave the best presentation of Inkanyiso’s work to 50 delegates …

Panel

Social media and LGBT Identities in the 21st century:
Access, distribution, new social spaces, limitations.

02 Jun – 07 Jun, 2013

 

Members of the audience captured from the back to ensure the safety of participants …
Photos by Zanele Muholi (05.06.2013)

Delegation captured after the morning session.
Photo by Valerie Thomas (05.06.2013)

Members of Faculty

and

List of participants

Related articles

LGBT & Human Rights – Day 1: The pros and cons of a unified international approach to LGBT rights

LGBT & Human Rights – Day 1: From the Floor

Position Available – Program / Development Assistant

Recent article by Lesego

2013 June 2: Inkanyiso presents at LGBT & Human Rights: New Challenges, Next Steps conference

“If not documented, it means it never existed.”

As the world is ready for the 2013 World Outgames, Antwerp BELGIUM.
On the other hand France is busy with the French-South season which will see a lot of our artists showcase their talents with many audience.
More South African participation on season…

It is our pride to note that some black lesbians will represent our country once again and bring the trophy if not trophies back home after the games.
From our visual archive, Inkanyiso is sharing some of special moments in our history, when TFC played and shared our experiences with French people in Paris .
We will never forget.
We are grateful once again for the generosity and love they granted us.

Big up Foot For Love and all the donors who made it passable for us.

Merci beaucoup!!!

by Londeka Dlamini

Zibophe ifindo likasofa silahlane izitabane zesifazane zasendaweni yase Chesterville esifundazweni saKwaZulu Natal ngoMgqibelo. UZininzi Ndlela ubeshadelwa uDelisile Ncengwa beshadiswa umfundisi Zinzi Zungu webandla abakhonza kulo iVictory Ministries Church International (VMCI). Beziphume ngobuningi bazo izitabane ziswenke ziconsa ukuzohalalisela ubab’ uNdlela kwazise uyilungu elidala ebandleni kanti uDelisile yena ucula ekhwayeni yebandla.

Imindeni yalababobabili ibiyingxenye yalomshado kuze kwathi umakoti esenikelwa kumkhwenyana wanikelwa umama wakhe ebekade engeniswe umalume wakhe. UDelisile uchaze wathi umama womyeni wakhe umthathisa okwengane yakhe akamthathisi okwamakoti. Izikhulumi zonke beziyala umakoti zithi ahloniphe emzini, ikakhulukazi umamezala wakhe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi abakwamakoti nabo bebewuthakasele lomshado, odadewabo kamakoti banandise ngomculo besho ngamaphimbo amtoti.

Lomshado ubuseqophelweni eliphezulu, izimpelesi zikamkhwenyana zigqoke amasudi kanokusho nezikamakoti nazo zingazibekile phansi nezingubo zazo ezinhle kushadelwa phandle kwehholo lomphakathi khona endaweni yase Chesterville, nelanga libalele saka. “ Ngifuna lolusuku lube isikhumbuzo kithina ngalezindandatho ngiyathembisa ukuthi ngiyohlale ngingowakho phambi kwezihlobo nabangani nabobonke abakhona nelanga libalele” Lawa kube amazwi kaNdlela ewabhekise kothandiweyo wakhe. Kuqhume umkikizo komama, ihlombe namakhwela ezinsizweni lapho umfundisi esebashadisile maqede wathi
“I now pronounce you as life partners”.

Iningi belilindele  ngabomvu ukuzwa ukuthi kuzothiwani kuleyondawana ngoba kuvamise ukuthi “manje senibizwa ngendoda nomfazi”. Ikhwaya ibilokhu iqhulula amaculo amnandi esonto kusukume nesinedolo kunyakazwe, ubungabuzi ukuthi umshado wabantu abanjani ubuzibonela ukuthi kushada abantu abakholwayo. Umakoti naye esesho amazwi okuzibongela usukume wanyakazisa indlu ehlabelela esho nokusho ukuthi, phela yena ungumntwana kaNkulunkulu futhi uyahlabelela enkonzweni yakhe.

Bobabili oNdlela nomkakhe bezwakalise ukubonga emindenini yabo, izihlobo zabo, abangani, umfundisi wabo kanye nebandla abakhonza kulo ngokubasingatha ngoba lomshado wabantu bobulili obufanayo uthathwa njengongabusisiwe kanti lutho uyafana neminye imishado ngoba vele indaba ingabantu ababili bekhombisa uthando komunye nomunye.

Related article

2013 June 15: The Durban Lesbian Wedding of the Year

About the author

“I believe myself to be a well-balanced, responsible and organized person, who wishes to achieve the best result in any task undertaken.
I am a very ambitious and studious person, always willing to give off my best.  I see myself being one of the well-recognized Journalists in the world in a few years to come.
I would like to be successful in my career, always ready to strive towards higher goals and given the opportunity, I will prove to be an asset to any company”.

Previously interned for Izwi Lomzansi FM as a Journalist and court reporter.

by Lerato Dumse

Imagine being part of a soccer team awarded a partial grant to participate in the 2013 World Out games in Antwerp, Belgium.

Now imagine not being able to seize that opportunity due to lack of funds.

This is a reality for Chosen Few lesbian soccer team, who hosted a fundraising event on 16 June 2013, at the Peter Roos Park in Parktown, Johannesburg.

The grant awarded by the World Outgames organizers covers 14 players. Who will receive free registration, free accommodation and a small contribution towards their travel costs.

However the is still a monumental task of raising enough money to cover other costs. Such as Visas; flight tickets and proper training material.

The event which coincided with youth day, was kick started with a soccer six asides. Teams which participated include; Spy2, Open Closet, Naledi Stars, Thembisa Funk, 1in9, Old Park and Soweto Funk.

Teams and individuals paid registration to participate in the day’s events. Old Park was crowned as champions and Thembisa Funk as runner’s up.

Chosen FEW members were then challenged to a game of rugby,by the newly formed Wham queer social rugby.

It was interesting to see soccer players being courageous and tackling their opposition and doing their own version of the Haka dance.

With the first part of the programme completed, the crowed moved to the other side of the park for more inclusive games.

Scrabble, 30 seconds, Twister and Volleyball were played. Kids had their faces painted, all of this was part of raising funds.

The soccer team is a project of the Forum for the Empowerment of Women (FEW).
Chosen FEW has previously participated in international LGBTI sporting events, like the Chicago Gay Games in 2006 (winning a bronze medal), the London Football Championship in 2008 (placing fourth) and the 2010 Cologne Gay Games (winning third place).

The World Outgames are a global event that takes place every four years, hosted by a selected city. WOGA cater for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning and Intersex (LGBTQI) community and open minded friends based upon three equal pillars: Sport, Culture and Human rights.

Those who wish to assist can make their contributions to:
Account Name: Forum for the Empowerment of Women

Account number: 406 053 8374

Bank: Absa

Branch code: 6320025

Branch Name: Eastgate

Swift code: ABSAZAJJ

Reference: Chosen FEW

For more info/ support please contact the following:

Deekay Sibanda 011 403 1906 email project1@few.org.za

Related articles

2013 April 21: Living a legacy is always better than leaving a legacy

Previous articles by Lerato

2013 May 17: One sided fight against Homophobia and Transphobia

and

2013 June 1: Zandile’s 21st birthday photos

and

2013 May 6: Archiving Noxolo Nogwaza’s funeral

and

2013 March 28: Feather Awards (re)viewed

and

2011 May 13:  Kwa-Thema Praying for homophobic victims.

and

2011 May 3:  Black Easters for black lesbian community

by Maureen Velile Majola

As we gathered at the Kunstplass 5 gallery waiting for the Crown Princess of Norway, Mette-Marit to arrive. The Princess made a special trip to the gallery just to meet Zanele Muholi and see the ‘I See Rainbows’ exhibition last night.

Muholi & the Princess.
Photo by Marna Eide

About hundred spectators came for both Muholi and her Royal Highness, most gathered in/outside the gallery to meet the two phenomenal persons. Cameras were out hungry for a snapshot of the Princess together with Muholi.
As soon as she jumped out from the Royal Car every photographer together with me started taking snap shots of the beautiful woman before us.

Vibeke, the co-owner of Kunstplass 5 at the opening of I See Rainbows exhibition.
Photo by Marna Eide

Vibeke Hermanrud opened the exhibition and welcomed all the guests in the house. She then called Muholi to talk about her work.

Muholi then addressed the crowd of people and the Princess and spoke about lifetime project Faces and Phases (2006 – present). The black & white portraits of black lesbians and transgender persons from South Africa and beyond are also part of the South African Pavillion at the 2013 Venice Biennale, Italy.

Muholi urged the Princess of Norway to share and spread the news to other monarchs in the world especially in Africa that, “It is ok to be homosexual and African and the society should not be allergic towards LGBTI persons. Please let them know and convince the arcane of power because you have the privilege and power to do so”.

I had my own expectations of the Crowned Princess. Lucky me I managed  to put back my shoes right on time in just less than a minute before the Princess came in. If only I had known that she’s just a regular blonde with a banging body and great personality.
She actually made me realize how Crowned Princesses can use their power as a royal example to serve their communities, country and to influence others through their contributions in the social movements.

Part of the 2013 Oslo Pride activities continues till end of June.

Related articles

http://www.kongehuset.no/nyhet.html?tid=116719&sek=26939

and

2013 June 20 Inkanyiso Sees The Rainbows with Norwegians


Previous articles by Maureen

2012 December 27: on 2012 LGBTI Recognition awards

by Lynne Carrol

I never got the pleasure of meeting my grandfather, but I heard a lot about him and through stories. Once characteristic that was starkly vivid was that he was a family man who loved his all his children.  Even though his children were from several unions, he made sure that they knew each other.  He passed away a year before I was born.  I wish I had been afforded a chance to meet him or even just shake his hand.

My Father has been absent all my life.  He will call me maybe once or twice a year if I’m lucky. I still find I love the man regardless.  But as much as I love him, I do not aspire to be anything like him.  My sentiments come from the fact that he has never deemed it necessary to take any responsibility for anything in his life, especially when it comes to being a father to me.

My late uncle, Nicholas Carrol (may his soul rest in peace), although flawed, was the closest thing to a father within my bloodline.  He was younger than my father and he used to baby sit me while my mother worked.  I closely tagged along him so much that when I started grade 1 I listed him as my father when we were doing family tree activities. I did so again in Grade 2 but my mom explained to me that it was not so.  My other uncles, Trevor and Tylor loved and respected my mom.  That on its own makes me have immense respect for them, even though I do not see them often.  They also taught me that it was ok to be in touch with my feelings.

Now let me tell you about the man I call DAD.
His name is Vile (pron VHI-LAY). He is not my biological father, did not formally adopt me nor even my mother’s partner.  But he has been more of a dad to me than my real father.  He is the one who has remembered my birthdays, gave me random phone calls and sent me frequent text messages, just to check in on me.  Those gestures are priceless and mean so much to me.  I have known him since I was 2 years old and even though we have moved on to different parts of the world he manages to always keep in contact. I wonder if my father knows my birthday.

Now I am who I am today because of all these men in my life somehow I feel I have a piece of them in me. A man does not have to have a “penis” to be a good father/role model.

Previous by Lynne and related article

2012 May 14: Expelled from school due to mother s sexuality???
and

2013 Feb. 8: “Let your voices be heard”

Photos by Collen Mfazwe

Where: Church Hall & Kromvleiplaas cemetery, Thokoza township, Johannesburg
What:  Duduzile Zozo’s funeral
When: 13/07/2013
How many: More than 500 people attended.
Who: Mostly political parties and black lesbians…
Camera used:  Canon 60D with zoom lens EF-S 17-55mm lens
f-stop 1:4-5.6

Related articles



2013 July 10: Chaotic memorial service for Duduzile

and

2013 July 10: Photos from Duduzile Zozo’s memorial service


and

2013 July 10: When brutally killed, Dudu was stripped every ounce of her dignity


and


 2013 July 3: Another brutal murder of a lesbian

and



2013 July 3: Another fucked up case

Letters last longer than finances

On 21st March 2013, Inkanyiso sent out invitation letters and call for help to different organisations to host @25 event to commemoration the lives of Busi Sigasa & Buhle Msibi.  Some responded to the call by sending letters of support. Others pretended to be confused by the request for letters of support.
High profiled organizations who are serving the same LGBT organizations never responded at all assuming that giving support meant financial help.
The cost for the whole event came to R22 000- to cover for material used, transport for community members who came from various townships, petrol for the week’s trips; food and communication.
Zanele Muholi paid for the expenses with the credit card since Inkanyiso has no donor funding and all the crew volunteers their skills and time to sustain the initiative.
We are still grateful to Khanyile Solutions (free staff t-shirts); Goethe Institute for the venue and all the Inkanyiso staff.
Not forgetting our Mcee s Donna Smith, Phumla Masuku and Nokuthula Dhladla who blessed us with the prayer.

To the LGBT representatives, poets, speakers for that day sithi Makwande.
We’d like to express our gratitude for all that you did or continue to do for us.

Related articles

2013 June 24: @ 25 revisited two months later

and

2013 April 5: Video from private night vigil ceremony


and

2013 April 4: @25 Reminder


and

2013 March 8: Public Event announcement

Previous article by Lerato

2013 June 17: Fundraising for Chosen FEW

…being consoled by my butch lover’s friend made so much sense. even the tears i shed over two weeks before her burial disappeared in a moment.
friends and family members were bitching about how quick i moved on or lent on another broad and strong should. if only they understand that my lesbian man cheated on me for years.
the bastard was even with her when she met her brutal death.
i feel sorry for my love but baby i have to move on.

It is three days after Duduzile Zozo’s funeral exactly a month ago when South Africa celebrated Youth day and seven years nine days since the brutal murder of Salome Masooa and Sizakele Sigasa who were brutally murdered in July 2007, also victims of hate crime. We gathered at Kromvleiplaas cemetery, Thokoza Township, Johannesburg on the 16^th of July 2013.

The level of unemployment has escalated amongst black South Africans, it is even worse with  the LGBTI community which has resulted to a major setback for most Gays and Lesbians. We assembled this time to shoot re-enactment scenes of a hate crime film.
Prior to that, we engaged on an ice breaker session to get to know each participant, as well as to express ourselves about the challenges we encounter and queer youth as we live our lives in the townships. The small group gathered here is from Thokoza and Daveyton township. During the icebreaker we found that we were a bunch of heavy hearted young men and women with breaking stories of suffocation.

To my sad realization I found that unemployment was the order of the day and I discovered that in a group of twenty four (24) homosexual beings present only two are permanently employed, four self-employed who also have challenges, which lives the other eighteen unemployed. To this disgraceful shock we managed to dig deeper into the matter. The lack of higher education, working experience as well as discouragement from our own kind when one tries to do good in the community and for themselves as individuals.

On this day I was also counted in the 18^th that is unemployed. Being amongst the group made me realized how we all have the fear of the unknown and how we are fighting yet most of us don’t have the skills needed to get us the jobs we applying for.
I was reminded that no matter how supportive our Constitution may be, the world around us is still homophobic and they will always judge one by their looks and not look at their ability to work and add skills to the company.

The struggle is within ourselves, we need to stand to pursue our dreams, and it is pointless to sit down with our God given gifts and passion and watch others doing it for themselves or live someone else’s dream who has taken the initiative to live theirs.
I strongly believe everyone is intelligent and was born to serve a certain purpose on earth. Let us not be imprisoned by the limitations in our minds. As homosexuals we need to gain confidence in ourselves.  We should have hope and start believing regardless of what the world says about us. It is high time young homosexual beings start doing things for themselves and reach for our dreams.

In this short space of time I learned that no matter what you do there will always be someone to put you down and one must not let such people win. Life is a daily struggle and not everyone wishes to see you succeed in life.  Therefore we should keep pushing for our dreams and do our best in everything we do.

We are all crafted from soil and therefore everything starts from the ground to the limitless possibilities, dreams, goals, faith belief and patience are the star bricks that build a strong foundation to where you want to be.

Start living your life and nobody else’s.

About the author

Nomaswazi Nkosi also known as Swazi, a graduate from Tshwane University of Technology in Marketing Management.
She is an aspiring photographer and Fashion designer, who recently transitioned from Butch to being a Feminine African Goddess.

Related articles

2013 July 16: Mo(u)rning in progress @ 26

R-L: Lesego Tlhwale, Charmain Carrol, Akhona Hailele, Nqobile Zungu, Swazi Nkosi,
Simphiwe Mbatha, Collen Mfazwe, Maureen Velile Majola and Muholi Zanele
© Koketso Mohalane
24/08/2013

Missing in the photo were:  Kopano Sibeko, Lerato Dumse, Thekwane Mpisholo and Zandile Makhubu.

Where/ What: After the funeral of Collen Mfazwe’s grandmother, we had our group photo taken by a member of AmaQhawe Choir.

Camera used: Canon 60d with 17 – 85mm lens.

Location: Daveyton

 by Tinashe Wakapila

It’s no beautiful melody
when you hear a politician promising everything
but a human being’s life
First it was ‘worse than dogs and pigs’,
i thought oh well,
i have
 enough on my platter to deal with
so i brushed it off,
dusted my self up and smiled

Soon smiles turned into frowns and all happiness
drowned when it became…
‘we will behead them’…

Could these be the utterances of a human being lacking
knowledge or deliberately diverting attention by inciting hatred.
‘Jail them for two years lets see if they can conceive’ …

So much hatred in these elderly veins
Pushing murderers,
rapists and priests to torment my soul
My life is threatened, yet this is who i am.

Is it because of who i am that i deserve to die,
for who i am has prompted

Those in power to ignore me suffering
as they talk about peace yet for me they declare death
Its because I am what i am
that they threaten my hopes
Peace lies somewhere,
but as for me it is nowhere
all hope is but gone.

Like empty vessels,
i hear scary noises about lesbians from all angles.

I am in a dark room wondering if its the beginning of the end
or the 
end of the beginning…
Thoughts break my heart and eat me up,
like a female scorpion devouring itself with own venom

I am hurting myself

Should i die or should i try 

I will fight,
i will write because i am what i am

Why then would i choose to be gang raped
why would i want to be beheaded
Who would choose to be bashed and used as an election winning tool

Who would choose to lose privileges
When and how will you get that clear
I am who i am,
because i am
what i am

About the author

Tinashe Wakapila is a Zimbabwean LGBT rights activist in the LBT group Pakasipiti.
She is also a youth leader and a scriptwriter.

by Kopano Sibeko

Sneaking in and out, private calls, unnecessary lies and scents of foreign colognes and fragrances all seem to be an impeccable way to assume that your partner is having an affair.  So a friend of mine has observed all these alerting traits of unfaithfulness and she is utterly convinced that her partner has a side-chick, oh so they call them.

Her reaction to this, was purely as expected, devastated. While sharing these life changing news she cried her eye balls out, as if she just heard of a death in her family.  Yes as friend I was obliged to comfort her and tell her that everything will be fine.  She’ll get over it.  She’s still young and she will sure meet someone who will be faithful and loyal to her and their relationship at all times and whilst debating what I just said in my mind.  The rational character in me believed that I lied to her, because truth is, they probably will cheat on her again.

The mental debate that I continuously have with myself is why do people tend to blame themselves when their partners cheat?
Yes I’ve also been victim to this because I mean it must make sense that there should be something wrong with you.  Or something wrong you’re doing or rather something you’re not doing at all that drove your partner into another’s arms.

My predicament is this, most of us have cheated either once, twice or most of our lives, and it really depends on how one weighs or qualifies the act of cheating and what determines cheating. Though to my shock people who are cheated on behave so much like victims.  As if they were never perpetrators before, funny how some of us like being all hypocritical as if we’ve never cheated. I’m not justifying cheating nor am I promoting it.  But if they cheat on you it has absolutely nothing to do with you, more often than not people get hurt because they think that there’s something wrong with them when their partner cheats.
It has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with their selfish reasons. Yes it affects you because that person is a part of you, but it’s not about YOU!
But then again those are my thoughts.

Having spoken to a lot of my friends about this subject matter, there are a percentage of things that incites cheating, be it sexual, emotional, spiritual, and financial or otherwise at the end of the day.  Cheating is an act of selfishness. I say this because it is self-beneficiary. As ridiculous as this may sound.  When someone cheats on you it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.   Sometimes maybe they don’t anymore but because of time spent in the relationship they might be scared to let go.
I mean I’ve been told that cheating depends on a situation, which in all instances is about the self.

People are prone to cheat if they are not happy.  Sometimes it’s not because you don’t make them happy, but because they are unhappy with themselves and they’re constantly try to fill that void.
They tend to forget that happiness is a self-sufficient quality, you cannot find it in others, you have to find it in yourself and be satisfactory with what you have before making or expecting the next person to bring out that side of you.

I will not be totally oblivious to the fact that we are all likely to get hurt when someone is not loyal to us.  Especially if we are romantically entwined to that person.
It has however come to my attention that people don’t like monogamous relationships.  They view them as rather complex and demanding.  If people didn’t mind being in a polygamous one, then there will be no cheating.  But pure openness and a balance because as stated that two is better than one, but then again three is a crowd.

After thoroughly thinking about this and making sense of it.  I shared it with my friend to try and ease her stress and help her move on.  She thinks I’ve completely lost it.  She called me heartless and inconsiderate.
I hope that someday it will make sense to her that, because her partner cheated on her it’s not her fault and that no one is flawless.

Previous by Kopano

2013 Aug. 31: Black Lesbian Visual Activist wins Mbokodo award

and

2013 Aug. 13: Love Transcends and Love Prevails

In this picture I’m with my favourite artist and photographer, Carrie Mae Weems outside the auditorium at Pitzer College…

The main photo was taken 10 mins before we left the hotel where we stayed for 6 days.
We met a lot of wonderful friends and shared good conversations…
Oh how I long for the Griffith Park, Hollywood where mountains are…
where stars are residing…
and wannabees want to be at.

Enjoy these few photos for now.
My daily diary (notes) will follow.

L-R: Me with Shruti & Andrea…

… they say home is where the heart hurts… I don’t wanna go home

To be continued…

by Xana Nyilenda

For a while I had been out of reach from the world and friends.

I decided to have nothing to do with technology, parties and alcohol, a monstrous beast that had consumed my entire life.

I ran away, from thoughts, feelings, and lost all logic and reason. I was living in my own world, one where my only worry was if Daniel Nyathi would die in a cage without anyone ever noticing he went missing (that’s a reference to the television soapy “Scandal” for those who don’t know).

I had gone AWOL, too busy feeling sorry for myself to even care if anyone would notice. I created my own world, a place where I had fooled myself into thinking I had regained control of my life. However mundane and monotonous it had become, I didn’t care, it was mine and I owned it.

Xana @ Room 810 Miyako Hotel in Los Angeles on the 21st Sept. 2013.
© Zanele Muholi

What pleased me was that I was beginning to find myself again, having come to terms with the reality that is the bi*@t* some of us call life.

 I eventually found the “Me” I had lost so long ago.

About a month ago, after a fierce episode of “Survivor” reality show (that’s how exciting my life had become). I was about to lay my head to rest when…

A call came in, It was a private number; anyone who knows me will tell you that I don’t answer those. Especially after hours because of the upsetting period when I received calls from an unknown enthusiastic breather earlier this year. This one I answered though.

Why? I asked myself that too.

After hesitantly pressing that green button I heard a voice,

ME: Hello?

Caller: Xana?

ME: Sho…

Caller: It’s Zanele Muholi… You wanna go to LA with me

ME: What?
(Confused as hell)

ZANELE: Los Angeles, California ndoda(man)!

Do you wanna go?

ME: Yeah! When?

ZANELE: I’m in Paris right now I’ll text you then email the details.

For now send me a copy of your passport.

ME: Sure ngizokusendela manje (I will send it now).

ZANELE: Perfect!
This will be your freedom.

Sisonke! Bye.

ME: Bye.

That was the end of that call and the beginning of a new thing in my life.

“Freedom” that word stuck with me echoing in my mind, God knows I needed to be free again.
After having imprisoned myself in my mind and within the confines of four walls that housed my bed where I had found my solace.

Freedom I thought. Igama enganikwa umzali kodwa ngingalazi ukuthi liqonde ukuthini.
This was my chance, my time. After endless nights of meditating, soul searching and praying for a sign, hoping for change big or small, I had been answered.

Inkululeko … thoughts of how life had been until that very moment when I decided to answer that call rushed over me.

Suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of fear and excitement, anxiety and panic but change and freedom were beckoning and I wasn’t going to ignore them. I said a silent prayer of thanks and for the first time in 9 months I fell asleep soundly.

First thought I had waking up was that my mother; who had been my pillar of strength in my darkest moment would be the first person I’d tell- it would surely bring a smile to her face again.

I went back home, after being away and alone for so long. I witnessed her kneeling every morning and evening praying for salvation never for her but for me. Her daughter who had become the empty vessel she could barely recognize anymore.

I was right she did smile, pausing to say, “Usameleni?

Hamba uyogeza khona uzolungisa izinto zakho. Ngizokwenzela ukudla.

“What are you waiting for?

Go bath so you can prepare your stuff, I’ll make food for you.

She was happy for me I could tell even though she tried to contain it. It showed, I saw my mother a strong woman shed a tear of relief. She gave me her approval and I set out to get everything in order to acquire my visa.

I was going to the birthplace of one of the biggest film making industries in the world, Hollywood. Being a filmmaker myself, this was huge – if that wasn’t a big sign from the universe to me, don’t know what is. This was a dream coming into fruition one that I had forgotten in the insanity of pleasing others.

My non-immigrant US visa application required me to fill in an online form called a DS-160, which can be found on http://www.usvisa-southarica.com. While doing this I realized that nothing is private except only your thoughts and intentions. Answering questions such as a where you live, where you work and how much you earn. To questions such as what your father’s name is where he was born etc. This made me wonder why they would care when you don’t- (different story for another time). I successfully submitted my online visa application, which was the easy part

I had book an appointment for a mandatory interview that every applicant trying to get into America has to do. How?
I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out, even after days on end spent doing research on the matter.

Being a first time applicant and having to do this by myself was so frustrating and intimidating.
I honestly wanted to give up and revert back to the little bubble I had created to protect myself but
I didn’t want to turn down this opportunity. I didn’t want to let down a friend and organizers of the symposium so I pushed hard, anxiety and all.

I decided to go the Durban consulate of America myself to clarify everything. I was lucky enough to be let in the consulate without an appointment to get the information I needed which I’m told hardly ever happens. This in turn led to me getting my interview booked five days before intended day of departure- cutting it close I know – but I can confidently say I did it all by myself.

Anyone interested on how to apply http://www.sa.visa-info.comis a perfect place to get step-by-step procedures. Word of advice though for those interested in visiting other countries to be prepared for long hours on the Internet, frustrating phone calls. Call centers where you are put through to operators with accents that are impossible to understand much like how they won’t understand you.

Which makes one wonder why they have them in the first, because they are about as useless as wearing heels at the beach. Be prepared to stand in long lines at the bank and police stations.
Make sure all your documents are in order to determine your entry into that country. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to know the address of where you will stay and contact details of your host, otherwise you’ll get a big fat NO.
Meaning all the money spent for the procedure goes down the drain. I didn’t encounter many problems with the acquisition of my US visa as it was approved after answering only one question. I considered myself to be lucky, don’t make the mistake of not studying your documents and doing all your research with regards to your trip.
I received my visa a day before travel, I packed and said my goodbyes and set off on a bus trip to Johannesburg (Jozi) where I would meet up with Muholi before heading to OR. Tambo Airport. On the way to Johannesburg, It seemed my luck had taken a turn for the worst when we encountered a serious accident.

This caused a three-hour road closure and for me to be stuck in a static vehicle with strangers and no room to move or even breathe.

I honestly didn’t think I’d make it on time for the flight but by the grace of some powerful forces I arrived in Jozi safe and sound.

Nine hours on a bus from Pietermaritzburg to Johannesburg, anticipating the longest flight I’m yet to experience.  They say your whole life changes in an instant, in my case, mine literally changed at the click of a camera button.

To be continued…

Previous article featuring Xana

2013 Sept. 23: Leaving Los Angeles

Location:  Credo Mutwa Park, Soweto. Johannesburg, South Africa.

Photos by Zandile Makhubu & Zanele Muholi
© 2013/09/28

Previous article on Soweto Pride

2013 Sept. 29: Soweto Pride 2013